Meghan Markle And Prince Harry May Have Decided To Work With “Friendly” Journalists For Their Biography

April 27, 2020 / Posted by:

When this pandemic has finally passed, it’s over for you bitches—ie: bitches who are already sick to death of hearing about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s every bowel movement. According to The Daily Mail, Meghan and Harry have agreed to work with journalists for an authorized biography, causing many salty tears from the tabloids the couple put on their no-no naughty list, specifically The Daily Mail themselves, and Dan Wootton of The Sun. DM says Meghan’s “wokemouthpiece, Omid Scobey, who is the Royal Editor for Harper’s Bazaar, and “Sussex-friendly” journalist Carolyn Durand, who covers The Royals for Elle, will likely be given the job of explaining why you should care. Sorry about it tabloids, you should have been nicer when you had the chance!

Additionally, People reports that Harry’s first post-Sussexodus project has been officially launched. If you thought Archwell was the most ridiculous name for a charitable endeavor they could have possibly come up with, then you need to get your HeadFIT. This one is worse.

As for Meghan and Harry’s biography, it’s mostly speculative at this point. It stands to reason Meghan would favor journalists who haven’t spent the past few years reminding everybody that her greatest accomplishment as an actress was as Holder of Case #24 on 34 episodes of Deal or No Deal. That and being super racist when there was an entire alleged sex offender RIGHT THERE. According to DM:

Biographer and journalist Omid Scobie planted his flag firmly in Meghan’s camp soon after she became linked to Harry.

Having begun his journalistic career on the celebrity magazine Heat, British-Iranian Scobie had covered the Royals for a number of years and, say friends, was eager to boost his profile.

Aligning himself with a beautiful woman whose romance with Prince Harry was transfixing the world was one way of going about it.

Writing her biography one day would be another.

And so began his cultivation of Meghan, at first through her friends. Struggling to cope under intense media scrutiny after her wedding, the Duchess needed a journalist she could trust, a man whom she could rely on to fight her corner and not write nasty things.

The absolute nerve! DM adds that Omid “was one of the few favoured journalists invited to witness Meghan’s tearful farewell to staff at Buckingham Palace” and that he “has written about the ‘almost daily mistruths’ of the British press.”Here’s what one of those alleged mistruth sayers had to say about this barely embryonic development.

Good luck getting Meghan to sign that Suits DVD box set now, Dan!

The Sun claims that the book already has a title and will be about their decision to check out as senior royals:

The couple have reportedly been interviewed as part of their ground-breaking book which is said to be titled ‘Thoroughly Modern Royals: The Real World Of Harry And Meghan’, sources said.

The book is reportedly 320 pages and is aimed at portraying a positive image of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and their decision to step down as senior royals.

Moving on to Harry and his HeadFIT program which, according to People, is “a new online platform that provides U.K. military personnel with 24/7 access to mental healthcare and advice.” A noble cause I’m sure, but the press release kind of makes it sound like Harry’s concentrated on developing an elite robot army of super-soldiers with excellent posture who will stop at nothing to protect The Crown.

Created by The Royal Foundation’s mental health campaign Heads Together — launched by Harry, Prince William and Kate Middleton in April 2016 — HeadFIT was first announced by the Duke of Sussex in October 2017.

“HeadFIT has been almost three years in the making, and I am extremely grateful for everyone who has been on this journey with us,” Prince Harry says in a statement about the platform, which includes tools for breathing exercises, relaxation and improved body posture designed specifically for both serving and retired military personnel.

The goal is that these techniques can be easily integrated into everyday life, whether that involves guard duty, performing ceremonial duties for Queen Elizabeth or simply relaxing at home.

Look at Harry out here saving the world one deep breath (on the couch while eating ice cream) at a time. This promised biography is about to be wild!


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