Shakira Used The Lockdown To Get A Course Certificate In Ancient Philosophy From The University Of Pennsylvania
What have you accomplished during the pandemic? I’ve thought about starting yoga (baby steps), perfected my grilled cheese recipe, and watched roughly one thousand hours of television. So, yeah. I’m busy. But you’d think Shakira, iconic and ageless shaker of crotch and anus, would use this life-pause to rest her poor hips. After all, she’s a 43-year-old mom to two young boys who just headlined the Super Bowl halftime show.
But nope. Shakira, who’s in lockdown at her home in Barcelona (Spain has the highest number of corona-cases in Europe), proves that she can get shit done Whenever Wherever! She completed an online Ancient Philosophy course from the University of Pennsylvania after her kids went to bed. Wow, and with so much on her Plato (I’m so sorry)!
bragged made the announcement on Twitter:
I just graduated from my 4 week Ancient Philosophy course with the University of Pennsylvania (@Penn). I know… my hobbies are very impractical, but it took a lot of hours after the kids were asleep. Thank you Plato and predecessors for all the "fun" over the past month! pic.twitter.com/cFTCXDjliX
— Shakira (@shakira) April 23, 2020
What an ass, she put “fun” in quotation marks. Fuck Socrates, I guess! Shakira posted about taking the course last month on Instagram:
I mean, what she said about Paw Patrol is fair. Those CGI dogs will melt your brain. Gotta stay sharp!
I want to hate on Shakira and say that she should next take a course on how to pay her taxes, but I can’t. She gave us the poetry that is “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains”, and that shit meant a lot to a flat eighth-grader in 2001.