Over two weeks ago, the Bronx Zoo revealed that Nadia the tiger had tested positive for coronavirus. Now the zoo says three more tigers and three African lions have contracted the disease. And if that’s not cat-astrophic enough for you, two kitty cats from New York have also tested positive! First the non-butthole shitshow that was Cats, then Tiger King, now this? Pussies are having a rough 2020.
The Bronx Zoo issued this update, via WCS Newsroom:
Samples for testing from the tiger, Nadia, were collected from her nose, throat, and respiratory tract while she was under anesthesia. Subsequently, we can confirm that the three other tigers in Tiger Mountain and the three African lions that exhibited a cough have also tested positive for COVID-19.
This testing was done by using a fecal sample test developed by our laboratory partners that does not require the animals be placed under anesthesia.
So poor Nadia was the only one who to endure the scary corona-test. The others could just take shits on the ground like they always do. Lucky bastards. And they really are lucky, because the zoo says they’ll all be OK:
All eight cats continue to do well. They are behaving normally, eating well, and their coughing is greatly reduced.
Phew. The zoo reconfirmed that the virus was spread to the cats by an infected staff person who wasn’t showing any symptoms at the time. None of the leopards, cheetahs, puma, or servals are showing signs of corona, which obviously means we should all wear leopard or cheetah print in order to trick the virus (kinda like in zombie movies when the characters cover themselves in zombie guts to blend in with the dead).
But enough about the big cats. What about our little buddies? The US Department of Agriculture released a statement about the two infected house cats, the first pets in the US to test positive, via CNN:
A veterinarian tested the first house cat after it showed mild respiratory signs, but none of the humans in its household were confirmed to have the virus.
It’s possible, officials said, that the cat was infected by somebody outside the home. Someone inside the house, with mild or no symptoms, could have also transmitted the virus.
The second cat, in a separate area of New York, was also tested after it showed signs of respiratory illness. The owner of that cat tested positive for Covid-19 before the cat became ill, but another cat in the household has shown no signs of illness.
America’s savior, Dr. Anthony Fauci, says “it’s not surprising” that pets can be infected. The CDC says cats should be kept indoors, and dogs should be walked on a leash, practice social distancing (sorry, no more sniffing butt greetings), and not visit dog parks. The article goes on to say:
If someone is ill with Covid-19 — whether suspected or confirmed — officials recommend having another member of the household care for pets.
If that’s not possible, people should wear cloth face coverings around animals, making sure to wash their hands before and after any interactions.
And when people are sick, officials said they should refrain from petting or snuggling their pets — and avoid being kissed or licked.
What. The. Fuck. Did the CDC just tell me if I get sick, I can’t kiss or snuggle my cat? Police my body all you want, the government, but this is where I draw the line! How could I possibly resist kissing this stunning male model gentleman?!