Afternoon Crumbs

Yes, even with all that water pouring on him, Ansel Elgort is still seven layers of thirsty, but he brought out his tits and peen bush to raise money to buy meals for frontline workers at Brooklyn hospitals. The entire picture doesn’t give your eyes a full serving of Ansel’s supposed giant Elgorge of a dick because he’s covering it with his hand. Yes, with one hand. There’s a cackling sound coming from Jon Hamm’s pants and it’s The Hammaconda laughing at this because not even the Statue of Liberty’s hand could contain The Hammaconda. “I’d be willing to give it a try,” said the Statue of Liberty. Lord, even she’s as hard-up for dick as the rest of us are! – Pajiba

Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman have put their fake beef on hold for charity. Honestly, they need to put their stupid fake beef on hold forever, because unless their fake beef ends with them naked wrestling in a pool of oil for real, we don’t want it! – Lainey Gossip 

Chris Noth shaved his head and is giving you Ming the Merciless if Ming the Merciless went six months without getting his brows threaded – SOW

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are selling quarantine wine for charity – Celebitchy

Miley Cyrus didn’t spend 420 smoking weed, so now some think she’s got a Cyrus baby in her. Quitting weed because she’s pregnant would be really cruel of Miley. That poor fetus is going to need all the weed they can get to deal with being in that family – Egotastic!

Hilary Duff had a date with Manic Panic – Popoholic

And the Oscar goes to… Chris Cuomo who acted like he barely left quarantine in his basement, even though there’s pictures of him allegedly riding his bike outside on Easter Sunday – Towleroad

Master Archie popped up on a very special birthday video call with his great grandmama – Just Jared

Pic: Instagram