The 1992 The Far Side calendar I keep by my desk has two red check marks on Monday and Tuesday, counting the number of days since Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas’ last pap stroll. And I have a sinking feeling more red checks are to come. Ana’s on to us! Apparently Ana doesn’t like people making fun of her rare genetic condition where she can only metabolize vitamin D if the sound of multiple cameras shuttering is present. Last night, Ana #tooktotwitter and went on a blocking spree which included two of her most popular fan accounts.
The Twitter account currently (and possibly soon, formerly) known as Ana de Armas Updates (@ArmasUpdates) has been celebrating Ana since November of 2019. However, ever since BenAna began quarantining together in L.A. and the ho strolls began in earnest, whoever runs that account hasn’t been able to help themselves and, understandably, starting sprinkling their posts with a little light, good-natured shade. I’ve posted some of ArmasUpdates’ tweets in my coverage here. But in case you missed it, here’s a taste of what they said that earned a block from Ana.
BEST ENTERTAINMENT THAT WE'VE YET HAD DURING THIS PANDEMIC THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE ANA DE ARMAS UPDATES pic.twitter.com/JcdgsFruWU
— kinsey (@kanejskaz) April 15, 2020
Alas, it seems Ana may have finally taken a moment out of her busy outdoor giggling and cuddling schedule, to search her name on Twitter. This is the sad result.
BREAKING: Golden Globe nominee and movie star Ana de Armas has recently blocked us! pic.twitter.com/dpZRQBz7jY
— Ana de Armas Updates (@ArmasUpdates) April 15, 2020
Soon after, another fan account suffered the same fate.
— Ana de Armas (@anadearmaspics) April 15, 2020
Not to be a tattletale or anything (OK so, I’m a natural born tattletale) but oops Ana, you missed one!
I'M TIRED. GO INSIDE. pic.twitter.com/eUmMLe7udE
— ana de armas (@bestofdearmas) March 24, 2020
What’s a fan account to do when the subject of your fandom wants nothing to do with you? As some people suggested to Ana Updates, you switch it up and start stanning someone else. Laughable suggestions included several Her?s such as Kristin Stewart?
I'd rather Stan a bucket
— Martin Black (@Black49M) April 15, 2020
What we’re not gonna do is support Scientologists
— alyssa💀🤍 (@alyssapuente_) April 15, 2020
And of all people, in this, the year 2020, Jennifer Lawrence?!?
didn't she destroy like a sacred monument and then make fun of the people for it after???
— 𝕜𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕡𝕣𝕪𝕕𝕖🎃 (@nancy_wheelers) April 15, 2020
As for Ana, she might want to consider that even though she’s dating “old Hollywood” (well, older Hollywood at least) it doesn’t mean she needs to be participating in the ancient art of the prearranged pap stroll. Especially given the current climate, for everybody’s health, it’s time to leave that venerated tradition in the past where it belongs. She’ll get a lot more mileage and better publicity if she stays inside and posts mirror selfies on Instagram with Ben’s tattoo and bare ass peeking out from behind the bathroom door.