Kanye West Didn’t Perform At Joel Osteen’s Sunday Service After All

Joel Osteen’s Easter Sunday Service happened yesterday, and Joel was supposed to celebrate God’s child on Earth, and also Jesus Christ. Kanye West was going to continue blessing us with that religious thing he’s been doing, but coronavirus has fucked that up a bit. Kanye’s holy act requires a giant choir, and because of social distancing, that’s not really possible, so he dropped out of Joel Osteen’s service. Aww, Jesus rose without his younger brother there. It’s really too bad coronavirus stopped this concert from being in person in the first place–I’m sure Kanye would meet a lot of black Trump supporters at a Joel Osteen Sunday Service.

TMZ’s sources say that the plan was for Kanye and his choir, which can have up to 100 members in it, to stand far apart from each other and wear masks. Anybody with half a brain cell could tell you that wouldn’t work out, but it took Kanye a minute, and he eventually realized it wasn’t possible.

However, once everything was laid out, Kanye decided it just didn’t feel safe enough for everyone involved, and he couldn’t carry out his vision, so he decided to pull the plug.

Womp-womp! Mariah Carey, who performed, only needs a wind machine, a camera shooting her from the left, and a hair and make up team to make something work. Tyler Perry also spoke some words of religious encouragement.

Thankfully this sermon was online, so instead of getting coated in Jesus’ Blood and probably coronavirus, you’ll just get coated in Joel Osteen’s deeply false sense of altruism. Which is better than what you could have been coated in if Kanye had shown up.

Below is the full service. Tyler Perry saysreligious words at around the 37 minute mark and Mariah comes in to sing Hero about ten minutes later.

Pic: YouTube