A Drunk Brandi Glanville Made A Denise Richards/Pussy Joke In A Cameo

April 13, 2020 / Posted by:

Brandi Glanville, blah blah blah, wasted in a Cameo, yada yada yada, Denise Richards pussy joke, etc. etc. etc. End of post.

HEH? You say you need more? But you got the “Who, What, Where” already. Sigh, fine. Here we go: Accredited slut for drama Brandi Glanville got Diet Coke/vodka-tanked, filmed a babbling Cameo for a fan, and made a Denise Richards pussy joke.

Brandi and a married Denise allegedly had an affair while filming The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last year. The new season premieres this week, and word is we’ll get to see the whole thing blow up on a girls’ trip to Rome. As if the Romans needed any more historic battles!

Here’s the Cameo:

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Brandi doing drunk Cameos is a whole mood

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If you can’t stomach clicking play on that fuckery on this, Jesus’ Monday, here’s the Cliffs Notes via Us Weekly:

“This is the last Cameo I’m going to do today because I’m wasted,” she explained in the NSFW clip.

“This is Brandi Glanville in case you can’t tell. I can’t tell either. I don’t like … I’m just a fat fuck,” she said as she panned the camera down. “Bad hair, no stripper nails, Diet Coke and vodka. No wine. What has this world come to where I have to fuckin’ drink vodka? This is so stupid.”

Brandi goes on to say some confusing shit about the Kardashians, Game of Thrones incest, then mentions her sons’ friends are texting her. She calls them “dogs” and “idiots”, then immediately retracts that and says they’re actually “really cute”. Well, koo koo kachoo, Mrs. Robinson Glanville. But it ain’t necessary for that wasted mumbo jumbo to be transcribed in its entirety. Here’s the real meat:

“Anyway, what are you guys doing? Cause I went for a jog and then I went to the library for a while and I had coffee with friends and I went to drinks with friends and then I was like, ‘Fuck, you know what? Let’s get a kitten.’ And I got the kitten and I took the kitten back because I realized I was allergic to pussy,” she said. “Don’t tell Denise. I’m not allergic to pussy. I’m allergic to bad pussy. I think we all are. I’m drunk. Oh no. Gotta go. All right, bye.”

Hey, like any true fan of comedy, I appreciate a good cat/vagina joke. But Brandi better watch that mouth, because Dr. Christmas Jones doesn’t fuck around. Last month on a podcast Brandi said she wasn’t allowed to talk about the alleged affair because she was slapped with a cease and desist. But then she added, “All I can tell you is, I don’t lie.”

A Cameo from Brandi runs for $100 (same price as Tori Spelling, FYI), which just isn’t fair! These already wealthy (well, not Tori Spelling) celebs get to pound back the vodkas, whine about being fat in lazy one-minute videos, and score a cool hundo? By that math, I should be making tens of thousands of dollars for my Instagram stories. Sigh. And the rich get richer.

Pic: Instagram

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