Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 1, 2020 / Posted by:

Mario Chippen, the Amazon employee who wants all of you horny whores to stop ordering so many goddamn dildos!

As Jeff Bezos is probably quarantining on a superyacht with gold digging Thundercat Lauren Sanchez, Amazon and Whole Foods workers are putting themselves at risk of catching corona just so you can bust a nut. Amazon workers from all over the country are protesting the working conditions and staging walkouts. They say that social distancing isn’t a thing that exists inside the Amazon warehouses, because there’s hundreds of employee shoved in there, and at times, they’re shoulder-to-shoulder. Employees staged a walkout at an Amazon warehouse in Romulus, Michigan today, and Mario Chippen became the hero of the group by telling everyone that Amazon should not be selling non-essential items, and every day, he packs up a bunch of dildos as the dildo-in-charge gets even richer.

At a press conference about the walkout, Mario and other employees said that three of their co-workers are at home sick with corona, and the warehouse is practically a COVID-19 hot zone since people are coughing and sneezing all over the place. The workers want the warehouse shut down for two weeks to stop the virus from infecting more. Mario thinks that Amazon should only be selling essential items right now, and he points out that many essential items are sold out. And every day, Mario says he packs up a bunch of dildos and dildos are not essential to him. Why do I feel like Mario is speaking directly to me?! via WXYZ

“Dildos are not essential items,” said Chippen, who added that every day he packages a massive amount of dildos.

Another worker said he understands the need for customers to get their orders, but not at the expense of workers’ health.

“We want to get the customers their product, but our lives matter as well,” said worker Ryan Stepney.

Here’s Mario’s full “Your Fuck Toys Are Fucking With My Health” sermon:

While I do not appreciate Mario calling the very essential item of a dildo “not essential,” I agree with him. I mean, I gave up on Amazon weeks ago when a thing of Lysol wasn’t available for shipping until the end of fucking time. And really, there’s no need to buy a rubber dick from Amazon right now. Just sex yourself with a spatula like a normal person in quarantine does.

Pic: Twitter

 

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