Hot Slut Of The Day!
Turk, the fugitive turkey of Calgary!
Canadian Thanksgiving is still six months away, but you know some crazies are stockpiling frozen turkeys right now in fear that there won’t be any in October. So that might explain why Turk busted out of his usual hood and is now making a run for it in fear that humans will hunt him and freeze his carcass until October. Actually, that explanation doesn’t make any sense, because does Turk look like the kind of motherfucker who is afraid of anything? His “Gobble gobble this, bitch” face answers that question.
Global News says that Turk has been ruling the streets of Calgary’s Ramsay/Inglewood neighborhoods since last May, but over the weekend, he was spotted wandering around the Beltline neighborhood, which caused people to call the police on the bird. People were afraid that Turk was going to wander into traffic and become ground turkey meat. So officers showed up to catch Turk, but Turk had other ideas. Turk wasn’t about to be taken down by the fuzz and escaped them. Turk basically said, “Who’s the turkey now, turkeys?”, to their asses. Cue up the Benny Hill theme song!
Constable Chris Martin (condolences to that man for sharing a name with Goopy Paltrow’s brother) of the Calgary Police Service says that the plan was to catch Turk and take him back to Ramsay, but after shit didn’t go as planned, they talked with Animal Control and decided to leave him alone. Constable Chris has told the people to stop calling in about Turk since there’s nothing they can do. But Constable Chris has his eyes on Turk. Cue up Free Bird!
Turk the Ramsay Turkey was spotted at the Esso on Macleod Tr and 12 Ave SE. He appears to be in good health, if you’re driving in the area today, please keep an eye out for him. #yyc #TurkTheTurkey #RamsayTurkey #yyctraffic pic.twitter.com/t4ySuR0OJX
— Constable Chris Martin (@CstCJMartin) March 29, 2020
Turk isn’t the only fugitive animal to named a HSOTD this month. One cow in Pembroke Pines, FL became a HSOTD after it evaded the cops for weeks. It’s almost as if the animals are social distancing from humanity as humanity becomes more and more of a shit show. Step aside, humans (six feet away or more), because this is Turk’s world now!
Pic: Twitter