Hot Slut Of The Day!
Troy Evans, a Vietnam Vet who’s got a toilet paper-saving tip for you!
As you can tell by the fact that the toilet paper section of your nearest grocery store and Target has nothing but tumbleweeds blowing through it (and don’t wipe your asshole with a tumbleweed unless you’re a freak who likes it rough), crazy bitches are hoarding all the toilet paper, because I guess their biggest concern as the world goes down in flames is that they might have dingles clinging to their ass hairs when the rapture comes. But fear not, Vietnam Vet and actor (he’s in Bosch and was in China Beach) is here to show you how you can use just one measly square of toilet paper to get that ass clean.
In an important tutorial on Facebook, Troy says he learned this ancient trick in the military. All you gotta do is fold the square twice and tear off a little corner of it before opening it up again. Then stick your finger through the hole in that square and pretty much finger bang your dirty asshole and ass crack before using that sheet to clean off all the caca from your finger. Then use that little piece you tore off to clean your fingernail. Troy is giving you full “the last time I had a piece of ass was when my finger poked through the toilet paper” disgustingness.
Because of Troy’s TP tip, stores should honestly only allow people to buy one roll each since a roll can last a family for weeks. And unless you’re a SUCIO scat queen, this trick will keep you from wanting to touch your face and mouth. Two doody birds, one stone, etc… And if this isn’t for you, you could also just use a 99 Cent Store version of a bidet (aka a water bottle). But personally, I’m too classy for all of that so I’m just going to clean my ass Toby-style:
Pic: Facebook