Eva Amurri, Susan Sarandon’s daughter and nepotism actress turned mommy influencer, announced in November that she and her husband of 8 years, Kyle Martino, have split up, and she made that announcement as her and Kyle’s third baby grew in her body. Being the professional over-sharer that she is, Eva let us know earlier this month that her baby, a son, was coming any day now, and when he finally knocks knocks knocks on her coochie to let her know he wants out, her estranged husband will not be allowed in the birthin’ room. Well, Eva gave birth last week. I know, I’m surprised that baby didn’t stay quarantined up in his mom’s womb over coronavirus, and also want to wait to come out until after the election is over since his newborn ears are too delicate to deal with Grandma Susan rage-screaming over Bernie Sanders losing primaries. Baby is brave.
Eva announced over the weekend that her third child arrived on earth, and as expected, she had a home birth. Eva posted several pictures of herself, Kyle, their new baby, and new baby’s siblings (5-year-old daughter Marlowe and 2-year-old son Major) showing us what the opposite of social distancing is:
Eva said before that while Kyle is not allowed in her birthin’ room, she wants her kids there. So in that picture above, traumatized Major is definitely looking at the door like, “I should make a break for it now while they’re all busy watching baby on the tete.”
Eva also shared a headshot of her third child, Mateo Antoni Martino.
So their children are named Marlowe, Major, and Mateo. That sounds like the member names of a hipster folk trio named The MMMs. Those of us with names that start with M should send Eva and Kyle a cease and desist for Duggar’ing our first name initial. And if for some strange reason you want to know all about Eva’s latest baby delivery, I’m sure she’ll tell every single damn detail in a 4,000 word blog post, including a little thank you to Kyle for only hitting on her doula, who obviously wanted Kyle, twice!