Soulja Boy is, quite possibly, one of the greatest entrepreneurs of this, or any century. Looking for off-brand kicks made by children in an unregulated factory somewhere in the developing world (“the last shoes I bought from him only came after I filed a complaint w/ the BBB & then the quality was like $5 when I paid $190” – actual customer testimonial)? Souja’s got you! How about a SmartWatch (currently unavailable, the website’s down or something)? Ya boy’s got you covered! Maybe you’re after a video game console? Well, sorry to say that “questionable” operation was shut down within a month. But the good news is you can still take advantage of the quality and prestige that we’ve come to associate with the Souja Boy brand and protect yourself from the COVID-19 virus at the same time!
According to Page Six, Soulja’s latest venture is selling soap. I mean, why wouldn’t you risk the health and well being of yourself and your loved ones by investing in Soulja Boy industries? What could go wrong?! According to Soulja, Souja’s cleaning up after investing some of his sketchily earned Souja Bux into a franchise of a company called The Soap Shop.
The 29-year-old rapper recently revealed that he and manager Miami Mike invested in a Mississippi franchise of The Soap Shop and sources told TMZ that the store’s profits have tripled amid the Coronavirus pandemic.
The Soap Shop corporation, which sells hand soap, dish detergent, and other cleaning products that people are snatching up amid the COVID-19 outbreak, has gone from selling 100 bottles of cleaning products a month to well-over 3,000 bottles, according to the website. That means the bubbly biz has seen a “record-setting” 3,000 percent increase.
In what appears to be a case of Brian Williams math, TMZ goes on to write that “sources say TSS as a corporation has gone from selling 100 bottles of cleaning products per month to well over 3,000-plus cleaning products in the last 2 months. That’s about a 30 percent increase, and we’re told it’s record-setting production.” Unless there’s some serious details omitted here, 100 bottles per month to 3,000+ over two months does not equate to a 30 percent increase.
Sure Soulja’s bounty is self-reported, and the only web presence for the Mississippi franchise is a Facebook page that’s been “liked” by 88 people, and its only available product appears to be a giant vat of knock-off Tide laundry detergent. But that doesn’t diminish Souja Boy’s astonishing business acumen.
“It’s just different businesses … once you get into the music industry, you know, branch out, do different stuff like try different things. Try different business ventures,” he told “The Breakfast Club” earlier this week. “Everybody needs soap.”
Just listen to this amazing customer testimonial!
Gwyneth Paltrow, you have been warned! When Soulja comes out with a dick cheese scented candle, it’ll be curtains for Goop!