Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 12, 2020 / Posted by:

The Fugitive Cow of Pembroke Pines, Florida!

Slap yourself in the head if your brain saw the words “fugitive cow” and spit out the thought, “Oh, so Harvey Weinstein broke out of the hospital and is now on the run?” Cows don’t deserve that kind of defamation! This cow, who is not a serial rapist as far as I know of, is on the run from the fuzz, and bitch is so good at being on the run that the cops haven’t been able to catch her for months. RUN, BESSIE, RUN!

The cops in Pembroke Pines made a wanted poster for a cow that they’ve been trying to nab since January. The cow has been wandering around the city for a while, and the cops have brought in cow herders to try to catch the apprentice of Frank Abagnale, but catch her, they can’t! When she looks at the humans looking at her, she probably pictures them picturing her as a giant hamburger, so she’s been jumping fences and channeling her inner Usain Bolt to get away.

For several months a loose cow has been seen wandering in the area of Sheridan Street & I-75. It has managed to evade capture by both our officers & assisting cow herders since January, due to its surprising speed and amazing fence jumping skills. 🐄 🚧

While the cow itself doesn’t present a threat to the public, it has been known to enter roadways where it endangers itself and surrounding motorists.

If you know the owner of this cow, or if you know its current whereabouts, please contact the PPPD at 954-431-2200. 🐮

If you are driving and you observe the cow in or near the roadway, please decrease your speed and safely move to the next lane over.

And hopefully, Runaway Bessie ends up sipping a Pina Colada on a foreign beach somewhere after evading the authorities. Honestly, this reboot of The Fugitive is way better than the Harrison Ford one.

Pic: Facebook

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