Hot Slut Of The Day!
Circus Fun Cereal!
Today is National Cereal Day, and before I spend the rest of the day sniffing the vintage box of Ice Cream Cones cereal that I’ve been saving for decades (fuck, I wish I had a vintage box of Ice Cream Cones cereal), let’s pay tribute to another box of pure sugar from the 80s that made dentists and the makers of insulin sing, “Weeeee’re in the mooonay,” on a loop.
When Circus Fun cereal came out in 1986, I really thought it was a cereal based on Circus Circus Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, and if that was the case, it’d probably taste like cigarette smoke and the tears of children who were brought into the security office after getting caught playing with one of the slot machines. But Circus Fun cereal was not based on Circus Circus. General Mills put Circus Fun cereal on the shelves in 1986. It was made up of sweet fruit-flavored balls (you know where my mind is right now) and marshmallows shaped like the enslaved animals we used to think it was okay to watch do tricks for our enjoyment. And the commercial let us know that Circus Fun cereal had so much sugar in it that it caused kids to hallucinate pastel-colored circus animals marching out of their nightstands:
“Horses, hoops, balls, bears, elephants, and lions!” sounds like my kind of night at the gay bar. And I don’t think I ever got to have Circus Fun cereal, but if I ever want to get the gist of it, I just have to do LSD while guzzling down an entire sack of pastel-colored sugar.
Pic: Pinterest
