Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks “Shallow Hal” Is Her Worst Performance

“Um, Gwyneth Paltrow’s worst performance is fountain of coochie wisdom” said all of humanity.

Gwyneth Paltrow and her BFF/assistant/“right hand” of Goop, Kevin Keating played a game of “The BFF Test With Gwyneth Paltrow” to promote her Netflix show Goop Lab. She asked Kevin a bunch of questions about herself to see how well he knows her. And one thing he does know is that she hates Shallow Hal.

But first, Gwyneth asked Kevin about Goop’s vagina candle. Has he smelled it? Does he like it? What does he think? Every good gay BFF has smelled their best girlfriend’s vagina, I’m sure. But not Kevin. Kevin says he’s smelled the candle, but not Goopy’s goop (via New York Post):

“Well, I’ve smelled the candle, but never smelled a vagina… It’s very fruity, and sort of, it’s a beautiful smell.”

Kevin also knew that Gwyneth’s favorite performance of hers was The Grammys. At the 2011 Grammys, Gwyneth performed Forget You with Cee Lo and some Muppets. Here’s a LOW quality version of it:

Killing it, Gwynnie. Kevin then correctly guessed what Gwyneth’s least favorite performance of hers was:

“Least favorite performance, I would say would be Shallow Hallow,” Keating says as Paltrow nods and makes an awkward face.

“I’m not sure who told you to do that one, but it wasn’t me,” Keating jokes.

Paltrow then tells him, “That was before your time. See what happened? Disaster.”

Gwyneth was paid $10 million for that movie. This isn’t the first time she’s dunked on Shallow Hal. Back when it came out in 2001, she told W Magazine she felt “humiliated” during filming:

“The clothes they make for women that are overweight are horrible. I felt humiliated because people were really dismissive.”

Gwyneth Paltrow in bad clothing??? Her skin can only handle heavenly-blessed fabrics woven together by nuns! What a trooper.

Gwyneth and Kevin also talked about female empowerment, and she also called Beyoncé “pretty famous.” Only “pretty” famous? Gwyneth better put on that Shallow Hal suit to protect her from the BeyHive since they’re going to come for her now.

How well does @GwynethPaltrow's best friend & right-hand man @goop actually know her? pic.twitter.com/zGzOLEX1M9

— Netflix US (@netflix) February 27, 2020

Pic: 20th Century Fox