The other day, 38-year-old Britney Spears’ workout partner/boyfriend, 26-year old Sam Asghari, posted a video on his Instagram of Starbucks’ number one customer in the hospital with a freshly scribbled-on cast on her foot. At the time, Sam let us know that Brit Brit broke her metatarsal bone and was laid up. And now Britney herself has shared video of the moment she busted her bone, and no, we don’t see Daddy Spears throwing marbles under her feet Showgirls-style to keep her from going back to court to fight her conservatorship.
In the caption on her post, Brit Brit says that at the time, she hadn’t danced for six months so she was really going for it, which is why she’s moving like a rain dancer on meth who really has to pee but was told that she can’t take a piss until she’s done. You can hear the snap, but no crackle or pop, because the video stops. If your ears don’t like the sound of bubble wrap popping, or an actual bone snap, it’s best to watch this on mute.
This is a shame, because with Brit incapacitated, we won’t get more videos like this for a minute:
Sam’s arm muscles must feel so alone and confused over not being able to pick up Brit Brit for Instagram views. And I fully expect the #FreeBritney crusaders to release a 2 hour-long conspiracy video on how the “crack” sound from Britney’s video was actually lifted from a Rice Krispies commercial from the 90s and that this is all more fakery to cloud us from the truth. I know, that’s crazy. The video is going to be 3 hours long.