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February 21, 2020 / Posted by:

Mayo slices!

If even the word “mayo” summons a stream of bile to crawl up your throat tunnel at record speeds, then your entire screen is probably covered in vomit from reading the words “mayo slices.” But if you’re like me and use mayo for everything, including ass lube, then you are praising Japan for once again delivering a completely necessary product!

SoraNews24 (via Gizmodo) says that there’s a company in Japan called Bourbon, and no, they don’t make whiskey. They mostly make chocolate stuff, but they decided to spread their culinary wings and have come up with mayonnaise slices. Actually, Bourbon has put out chocolate slices before, so these mayo slices are sort of in their lane. These mayo slices are obviously sent from the Gods, because we all know how hard it is to pull out a knife, open up a jar of mayo, stick the knife in that whipped jizz from the heavens, and then slather it all over a bread slice. It’s HARD labor. But Bourbon has made it easy. All you gotta do is slap that bitch on some bread and it’s ready to be devoured.

Bourbon’s mayo slices come in tuna flavor and spicy cod roe flavor. They will sell for around $1.80 for a pack of four and will be available for Japanese mouths to swallow up on March 2. Bourbon even wants its customers to throw a mayo slice on shit other than a sandwich, like pasta:

And it’s honestly a good thing that they’re not out here in the U.S., because I don’t need the judgmental people with no taste in my life heaving as I eat a slice of thick mayo like it’s a Kraft slice. And yes, I said THICK MAYO. I think I just heaved at that too.

Pics: Bourbon LTD. 

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