When it comes down to it, has anybody truly experienced devastatingly unfortunate luck and career lows like Justin Timberlake? I think not! Well, strap in for another eye-roll-inducing, stomach-churning tale of self-pity by everyone’s favorite former boy band member who isn’t AJ McLean.
Fresh off of his “Amazing Wife” tour, Justin has embarked on a new one, the “Hey Guys, Remember Me?” traveling circus, and one of his first stops was the Graham Norton Show. Sharing a sofa with fellow guests Anna Kendrick, Oti Mabuse and Alan Carr, Justin proceeded to crack one hilarious, side-splitting dad joke after another, in between subtle reminders of how poorly he’s been treated as an artist. Unsurprisingly, the results have sent shockwaves of indifference throughout the universe (and all the way up to Janet Jackson’s doorstep).
And because he’s likely still not getting any sympathy at home, he decided to share a tragic whopper of a story from 2003 where a bunch of mean Canadian people threw pee, muffins, toilet paper, and bottles at him.
During the early stage of his solo career, Justin was asked to share the bill with The Rolling Stones (as well as Rush and AC/DC, among others) for a SARS benefit concert in Toronto. But things didn’t go as smoothly as JT had hoped since he was a pop performer at a concert mostly filled with rock acts. The audience let him know they thought he was shit by throwing piss at him.
“All of a sudden, bottles of urine were then thrown on the stage…I was trying to at least remember lyrics that I actually wrote to the first song I’m singing. I still have a lot of trauma.”
Hmm, yeah, let’s not throw piss unless the person is into it, but I can think of another performer who is likely still experiencing trauma from having shared a stage with Justin Timberlake. But I digress.
Once he finished his first song, and before the audience started lighting their torches, the festival host motioned for him to get off the stage. But ever the true professional, Justin decided to try to win over tens of thousands of classic rock fans.
“I was like ‘No, man. I’m staying out here. We’re doing this.’ The first song, I was at the mic, I’m like moving around and singing at the same time. And then the second song was ‘Senorita…And I play a Rhodes electric piano on that song. So then all of a sudden, I’m thinking to myself, ‘Oh no, I’m immobile.’ After that song, either one of two things happened: Either they ran out of nerve because they knew I was gonna stay there, or they ran out of urine. So kids, be tenacious.”
Who doesn’t love a tale about an underdog overcoming insurmountable odds (and bottles of piss)? All I took from this story is that Justin did in 2003 what he’s been doing ever since: He wore down an entire audience until they just tolerated his singing until it was over. A gift!
And why haven’t Fergie and JT co-headlined a tour together?!