Those mad scientists at Pizza Hut have done it again! And this time, their exciting additions to the gourmet world aren’t just being served in the Middle East (cheeseburger crusted pizza) or China (hot dog and shrimp tempura pizza). That’s right. The Hut’s new Mozzarella Poppers Pizza is being offered in the good ol’ U.S. of A! Yeeee haw, chow down, y’all!
Allison Robicelli from The Takeout reviewed this groundbreaking new fare:
Each slice of pizza has two mozzarella poppers stuck to its crust, which I initially decided to pick off and taste independent of the pie. There is a chance that you’re already familiar with their flavor if you’ve ever had to eat a spectacularly disappointing mozzarella stick in a public school cafeteria or at Burger King.
OK, girl, you didn’t have to do BK’s mozzarella sticks like that. At $1.99, what did they ever do to you? She goes on to say:
They’re not even attached—they’re just smooshed into little indents along the edge and can effortlessly be plucked off and eaten independently, as if they never really mattered all that much to the pizza.
Listen, I have trash food taste, so this actually sounds right up my alley. Last night I went to a bar, ordered a quesadilla, and was served a microwaved white tortilla filled with Kraft singles, featuring a side of “salsa” (could have been ketchup?). And before my friends could finish their very concerned “Are you sure you don’t wanna send that back?”, I’d already devoured the culinary masterpiece in one jaw-unhinging bite.
So, yeah. I’d fuck with that Mozzarella Poppers pizza. But here’s the question on all our minds: What dipping sauce would you eat with it? Ranch? Garlic? The classic mozzarella stick/marinara combo? See, this is why food is so exciting! A Choose Your Own Adventure with every bite… that ultimately leads to the land of DiarrheaVille.