Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 13, 2020 / Posted by:

Maison Margiela’s Bukkake Sneakers (Bukkakers?)!

Have you ever wanted to exude casual elegance by walking around with sneakers that were busted on by Chris Elliot’s There’s Something About Mary¬†shoe fetishist character? But ten minutes after you walk outside, all of the jizz on your sneakers has dripped off, and you either have to bust a nut on them yourself (if you’ve got a peen) or you’ve got to pay a hobo $20 to jack off on them. So inconvenient! Well, the house of overpriced fashion fuckery, Maison Margiela, has heard your cries for permanent cum dripped sneakers.

My friend pointed me toward a post from The Goth Chola on Instagram who featured Margiela’s “Fusion Leather & Mesh Sneakers.” They’re made of leather and polyester, and the dick sauce is made of Polyamide. I know, I should stop right there. How can you call yourself a high-fashion house when your cum sneakers don’t have actual cum on them?!

Luisa Via Roma is selling them for only $1655. That’s honestly a small price to pay to decorate your feet with ugly ass jizz-splattered dad sneakers from the 90s. But well, if you’re a cheap bitch who really wants to look like a suburban closeted dad with no style circa 1990 who met up with a bunch of dudes in the park and sucked them all off before they busted all over your shoes, then you can easily make these yourself with Elmer’s glue and the ugliest sneakers from your local Goodwill. But again, you’d be walking around with faux jizz on your shoes. Embarrassing! Coco Chanel would never!

Pics: Luisa Via Roma

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