Hot Slut Of The Day!
Edward VII’s royal sex chair!
A replica of horny Edward VII’s fuck chair royale made the internet rounds last year, but it’s popped up again, because M.S. Rau Antiques, the antique house that is selling it, has marked down the price. It used to be $128,500, and they’ve slashed the price by over half. It’s now listed at $68,500. They honestly missed a serious opportunity by rounding up and listing it at $69,000.
The description on Rau’s site says that Edward VI was a legendary slut, and in 1890, 11 years before he became the King of England, he commissioned a “siege d’amour” (“seat of love”) from Parisian cabinetmaker Louis Soubrier. It was kept at the opulent brothel Le Chabanais in Paris for Eddie’s personal use. The original is owned by Soubrier’s grandson, so sadly you can’t own the one that is covered with the dried royal man chowder of a future king. Two replicas were made, though. One is at a museum in Prague and the other can be yours!
As for how that opulent fuck chair worked, Jezebel interviewed Tracy Borman, author and curator, who hosted Private Lives of the Monarch on The History Channel last year, and she said that the chair was made for Eddie to get it on with two ladies. If your brain is jizzing out question marks over how that exactly worked, Tracy said that one woman took the top and the other one took the bottom.
But what really perturbed me about the chair is that there was room on it for two ladies, one on the top and one underneath—but exactly how he got to the one underneath we never managed to actually work out between the whole crew. So what she was doing down there, whether it was like a queuing system, she was just lying down there to wait, I don’t know. But it’s quite a contraption. It looks a bit like a sleigh. It’s a weird looking thing. But apparently it worked! I love the fact that, despite its function, it is still made for a future king, and so it’s studded with gold, it’s padded. It’s all as you might expect. It’s all very decadent. That stands out to me as a real highlight of the series. I don’t think I’ll ever quite forget that experience.
I’m guessing that either Eddie’s royal dick jumped from cooch to cooch, or the bottom lady’s tongue waltzed on his royals jewels as he sexed the top lady. Whatever the case may be, I’m sad that The Bombay Company doesn’t exist anymore, because they definitely would’ve sold one of these. And I could’ve swung by and got one after a certain ginger prince and his wife go trolling for a third on Grindr when they get to L.A. Listen, I don’t need your rolling eyes. This is my wet dream of delusion.
Pic: Rau Antiques