Unless you’ve been living under a giant toe, you’re probably aware of TLC‘s new show My Feet Are Killing Me, which chronicles the lives of people with feet issues. I’m not sure if it’s Quentin Tarantino’s porn or nightmare. Well, hang on to your lunches because the latest episode is about a man born with a big toe SO BIG that he had to have the toe next to it removed. Television writers and producers in Hollywood can stop planning their Emmy campaigns right now because it smells like these feet are going to sweep every category in 2020!
Seriously though, this poor guy Brian Mills, with his mammoth appendage (and not the good kind), has had a rough time of it these past few years. And by the sound of it, his toe just keeps getting…bigger. (I swear, there’s got to be a porn version of this show in the works as we speak). Brian describes his difficult situation, in detail, to the show’s resident foot doctor, Dr. Ebonie Vincent:
“It feels like I’m walking on sandpaper and a lot of times, I start to tend to walk on the side of my foot and that causes a lot of pain on the other foot.”
And then, the money shot: in a dramatic lead-up that only TLC can pull off, Dr. Vincent rolls up Brian’s pant leg, slowly unfurls the sock while a tense, (toe)nail-biting John Williams-type score plays in the background, and then BOOM!
— TLC Network (@TLC) February 7, 2020
To this day, I’m amazed that the execs at TLC continue to call their network, “The Learning Channel”. The only thing I learned watching this trailer is how quickly I can drop everything to reach for the remote.