Jon Peters Let Pamela Anderson Know Their Marriage Was Over Via Text

For those of you who at least got the decency of a “this isn’t working for me” *sad emoji**broken heart emoji**vomit emoji* text from the person who dumped you that one time, you can imagine the gratitude Pamela Anderson, 52, must have felt when Jon Peters, 74, sent her a similar one announcing their 11-day marriage was over. You other bitches can scoff but at least he didn’t ghost her ass and merely send the divorce papers over with no explanation! US Weekly reports that Jon sent Pammy a heartfelt text explaining why he couldn’t be her husband anymore shortly after their secret wedding.

Jon’s reason for ending their love story of barely two weeks for the ages? He got “scared” of their “beautiful, amazing lovefest.” You would think that a dude who was with diva to end divas Babs Stresisand for more than a decade would have bigger balls.

Peters wrote, “It made me realize that at 74 I need a simple quiet life and not an international love affair. Therefore, I think the best thing we can do is that I’m going to go away for a couple of days and maybe you need to go back up to Canada we did it. The world knows we did it and I think now we need to go our own separate ways. I hope that you can forgive me.”

In even sadder news, they might have been married for 11 days but they were only together as man and wife for like, five of them, after getting hitched at Shutters on the Beach hotel in Santa Monica on January 20.

The model, 52, spent half of the 11 days they were married away from the movie producer, 74, at her house in Canada, and they never completed official paperwork to legalize their union.

Honestly, they were only hanging out for three days before they got hitched. Messy Pam’s probably back to making penpal Julian Assange Wikileak with her torrid e-mails promoting the open exchange of information so she’ll be aight. HIS LOSS.

Pic: Wenn.com