Robert Pattison Is The World’s Most Handsome Man According To Science

February 4, 2020 / Posted by:

Science seriously needs to have its head examined. Last year Science tried to tell us that Bella Hadid was the most beautiful woman IN THE WORLD, now they say Robert Pattison is the “world’s most handsome man” when he’s not even the world’s most handsome Cullen Family vampire (Kristin Stewart is certainly more handsome). No, Science is either drunk, or high, or a 12-year-old girl. Science is giving People Magazine a run for its money for the title of World’s Worst Superlative Chooser.

According to E!, the world’s top mathematicians, from MIT in Boston to the Chennai Mathematical Institute in Indian, (what, did you think we’d leave such important scientific research to some random plastic surgeon the The Daily Mail talked to?) have applied The Golden Ratio of Beauty Phi to Robert’s face and have determined that it is “perfect.

As Daily Mail writes, the Batman star’s eyebrows, eyes, jaw, nose, lips and general facial shape were measured against the features of other male celebrities, and he apparently came the closest to the ancient Greeks’ idea of “perfection.” That idea of perfection is determined by using The Golden Ratio of Beauty Phi, a technique believed to be used by painters in the European Renaissance.

And presumably due to a rigorous application of the Scientific Method, the infallible technique for determining who meets an antiquated Western standard of beauty also determined that Kanye West is now officially and unequivocally more handsome than Ryan Gosling, but not as handsome as Bradley Cooper. Look, I’m incredulous too, but facts don’t lie.

The percentages are determined by measuring the length and width of a person’s face, then dividing the results. The theory is that the closer the ratio of a person’s face is to 1.618 (Phi), the more “beautiful” they are.

In second place is Henry Cavill (91.64), who is then followed by Bradley Cooper (91.08), Brad Pitt (90.51), George Clooney (89.91), Hugh Jackman (89.64), David Beckham (88.96), Idris Elba (88.01), Kanye West (87.94) and Ryan Gosling (87.48). In comparison, Hadid’s percentage was 94.35.

I have a feeling that this important research will once again be overlooked when it comes time for The Nobel Committee to put out their yearly superlatives list for the sciences. So while The Daily Mail will surely be losing the Nobel Prize for World’s Sexiest Use Of Applied Mathematics, they still might have a shot at that journalism one they give out.


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