Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 31, 2020 / Posted by:

Fiona the Hippo!

When my sister asked me the other day who was playing in the Super Bowl, I answered with complete confidence, “JLo and Shakira!“, and didn’t at all think she was asking me which sports ball teams were playing. But now thanks to Fiona the Hippo, I know that the San Francisco 69ers and the Kansas City Queefs are the opening and closing act of The JLo and Shakira Show. Fiona, who lives at the Cincinnati Zoo, has been giving her “predictions” on the Super Bowl since 2018. And this week, her overlords at the zoo put two giant butt plugs in front of her with the name of each Super Bowl team on ’em. Fiona made it perfectly clear how she feels about the KC Chiefs by barfing on their butt plug.

WLWT says that the butt plugs were actually hippo “enrichment items,” and 3-year-old Fiona was put in front of them. Keepers were hoping she’d press her snout against one, indicting her prediction, but she instead barfed like me after accidentally picking up and eating a zucchini stick from a Super Bowl spread.

Keepers say that Fiona ate right before her prediction, which explains why she vommed. I guess they don’t want Fiona to get death threats from Chiefs fans.

As for her accuracy rate, Fiona isn’t exactly the hippo reincarnation of Paul the Psychic Octopus:

Fiona’s accuracy rate has so far been 50 percent. She accurately projected the underdog Philadelphia Eagles to beat the New England Patriots in 2018, but bet against the Pats, instead going with the Los Angeles Rams, in 2019.

I still don’t know if Fiona barfing on Chiefs means they’re going to win or lose. Or maybe she’s predicting that many of us are going to end the night barfing up beer and nachos into the toilet. A SLYCIC genius, that Fiona is!

Pic: Twitter

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