Night Crumbs

January 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Putting muscles on his body for The Eternals got Kumail Nanjiani a tribute on PornHub, which led to them giving him a free 10-year subscription to their Premium service. So wait, in order to get free PornHub Premium for a decade, all I have to do is get famous, get cast in a Marvel movie, and then spend 22 hours in the gym and eat nothing but organic oxygen for months? Sounds easy! But then again, no thank you. PornHub is already my gym and is where I get all my cardio. And the six-pack I’ve got on my wrist is way more impressive than Kumail’s six-pack abs – Pajiba

If you’re a BTS fan and a foot fetishist, your sucio ass isn’t reading this since your tongue is still stuck on the screen from their Late Late Show performance – Lainey Gossip 

Brie and Nikki Bella are both pregnant and are expected to birth out a baby two weeks apart. They say that they didn’t plan it since there’s no way you can plan a pregnancy. Okay, but I’m still picturing them FaceTiming each other post-sex while their legs are up in the air and they’re screaming at each other, “Girl, higher, we need that jizz fish to bust through that egg at the same time!” Celebitchy

It’s a good thing for Bella Hadid that her face doesn’t move, because if it did, she would’ve developed at least one face wrinkle from cringing as they pulled that duct tape off her nipple knobs – Drunken Stepfather

You know how some people carry around their own straws in the name of the environment? Well, Hailee Steinfeld carries around her own napkins that double as sleeves – Popoholic

The makers of IcyHot and prosthetic hips are about to get a gigantic jump in sales since old ass Mel Gibson and old ass Danny Glover are doing another Lethal Weapon movie – Just Jared


Pic: Instagram

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