2020 is really turning out to be the year of royals gone rogue. THE QUEEN was just beginning to get over Prince Andrew pulling back from the oh-so-tough royal job of shaking hands and cutting ribbons after he gave that stinker of an interview to the BBC over his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein. THEN, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle pulled Sexxodus out of the bag without even telling her! AND THEN, Prince Andrew said, “Hold my beer…no, really, will anyone? I no longer have royal staff.”
Despite Andrew’s royal sign-off including the promise to help the feds in their ongoing investigation into Jeffrey, prosecutors in New York Monday say they keep getting a busy signal when they call Prince Andy and Buckingham Palace. Silly Feds. Andrew probably just thinks the American number on Caller ID is just Sarah, Duchess of York, calling for more alimony.
NBC News says U.S. Attorney Geoffrey Berman gave a press conference outside the Epstein Mansion today and said the Duke of York is doing jack shit for the investigation: “To date, Prince Andrew has provided zero cooperation.” Somewhere over in jolly ol’ England, Queen Liz is raising her third cocktail of the day saying, “Welcome to my life, Geoffrey!”
As we know, Andrew is certainly a person of interest given his friendship with Jeffrey. Virginia Giuffre accused Jeffrey of trafficking her when she was 17 and that she was forced to have sex with Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew denies any of this ever happened – even if that denial cost him his seat at future royal family functions. Extremely long and sordid story short, we know Jeffrey was eventually behind bars and committed suicide last year. That’s when the FBI wanted to figure out a way to interview Andrew.
Even if Andrew is on the outs with the family, I can’t help but feel like Queen Liz would sooner go to Pizza Express with Duchess Camilla before she lets Andrew and his story with more holes in it than Swiss cheese sit down with the FBI. Either way, Geoffrey indicated that he won’t back down:
“Epstein couldn’t have done what he did without the assistance of others, and I can assure you that our investigation is moving forward… However, in Prince Andrew’s case, he publicly offered, indeed in a press release, offered to cooperate with law enforcement investigating the crimes committed by Jeffrey Epstein and his co-conspirators.”
Andy is going to avoid the feds like sweat avoided coming out of his body after the Falklands War. But he’s already lost his place on QE2’s desktop, but maybe a bout of honesty will get his photo up at least somewhere on palace grounds. I hear there’s an empty wall behind the horse stall that has his name on it.