Hot Slut Of The Day!
I hear you hating bitches going, “Damn, they just announced that Betty Gilpin is playing Ann Coulter in that Ryan Murphy show and they’ve already released a pic of her in character!” But please, this is an actual soulless mummy, and it is the vessel of today’s HSOTD: the ancient mummy moan!
The New York Times says that researchers at the University of London did a scan on the mouth and throat of Nesyamun, an ancient mummified Egyptian priest. They 3D printed that mess out and then built an electronic larynx to try to produce the sound that the mummy would make if it came to life. Speech scientist Dr. David Howard said that they did the study to further understand what people sounded like in ancient times.
Dr. Howard and his team used a CT scanner to create a 3-D-printed version of Nesyamun’s mouth and throat. They combined it with an electronic larynx to reconstruct “the sound that would come out of his vocal tract if he was in his coffin and his larynx came to life again,” Dr. Howard said.
Honestly, I’m not sure why they went to all this trouble since the documentary The Mummy (the 1999, we don’t talk about the other one) already let us know that an ancient mummy sounds like Arnold Vosloo. But Dr. Howard and his team spent a lot of time and money to find out that a come-to-life mummy would sound like this:
Basically, just an “ehhhhhhhhh.”
Who knew that if a mummy were to come to life it would sound like a cross between a laryngitis-ridden Billy Eichner trying to push out a stubborn shit on the toilet while stuck on a move as he plays Words with Friends on his phone AND one of Charlie Brown’s parents slowly getting ass fucked?
Pic: YouTube