It’s Semi Official: Brad Pitt And Jennifer Aniston Are Just Friends

Bradiffer shippers, STAND DOWN. A source has spoken to People Magazine assuring us, the JCooch and BPeen watching public, that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are just friends who “want nothing but happiness for each other.” What you saw at the SAG Awards was nothing more than two friends supporting one another. This will absolutely be the last time a source speaks to People Magazine about their relationship. I repeat, Brad and Jennifer are not back together, and that’s that on that. Case closed. No further speculation will be entertained at this time. Free and confidential support is available for those suffering from feelings of “Ah, but they’re so good together” at 1-800-GET-A-LIFE

People, it’s just not happening. A source says that Jennifer is NOT dating Brad. Those lingering fingers Jen trailed across Brad’s jacket when they saw each other at the SAG Awards that got Jamie Lynn Spears worked up into a froth, were strictly friendship fingers.

“Jen was happy for Brad,” a source tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “They congratulated each other and that was it.”

The insider says, “It was an emotional night,” and adds that Aniston “is not dating Brad.”

Furthermore!

“They are friends and happy for each other. They want nothing but happiness for each other,” says the source. “She is happy to have Brad back in her life as a friend, but that’s it.”

Look, I know it’s not what everybody wants to hear, but it’s something Brad and Jen need everybody to hear anyway. Of course, just because they aren’t dating doesn’t mean they’re not fucking. A hot hard one may be something Brad can offer her, but in terms of a life-partner, what’s Brad bringing to the table? Five and a half kids and a melodramatic ex-wife? Perish the thought.

Now, if you please, for those who need it; a moment of silence for Bradiffer.

Thank you and good day.

Pic: Wenn.com