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January 18, 2020 / Posted by:

Andy “The Blowjob” King’s Evian Ad!

It is the one year anniversary of when Andy King made his entire family tree proud by becoming The Blowjob King of The Fyre Festival thanks to his tale about how he almost gave head to the head of customs in the Bahamas so they’d release all the bottles of Evian and he’d save the festival for his now-imprisoned dehydrated cum nugget of a boss. Shortly after Andy King was crowned The Blowjob King (and trick didn’t even have to suck a dick to get it!), the offers reportedly flooded in like Evian into Andy’s mouth after sucking custom official dick (if he sucked custom official dick), including one from Ryan Reynolds, and now he’s cum full circle by being the new mouth of Evian!

In Netflix’s Fyre Festival documentary, they introduced the world to Andy King, a seasoned event planner, who said that when customs in Bahamas held all the bottles of Evian for the festival, his boss Billy McFarland asked him if he’d wrap his lips around the peen of the head of customs to free the water. Andy King was going to do it but didn’t have to since the head of customs released all the Evian anyway. But a blowjob star was born!

To celebrate the anniversary of him admitting he was willing to take a splash to the throat so those Fyre Festival messes could take a splash to the throat, Andy has partnered with Evian and is pushing a bottle they made in his honor. The bottle has a slogan on it that reads:

So Good You’d Do Anything For It

No, that slogan doesn’t really work. Because Andy wasn’t going to suck dick for Evian specifically. He would’ve sucked dick no matter what the water brand was, even Dasani! Although, his family may have disowned him for sucking dick for Dasani since that’s just a new kind of sad.

Andy posted about his perfect partnership on Instagram including some info about a contest.

Andy didn’t even have to suck a dick to get that campaign! I think.

And honestly, I love that Andy is cashing checks from Evian while his pimp (Billy McFarland) is drinking toilet water in the clink, but Evian really missed an opportunity here. Obviously that special bottle should’ve been shaped like a big ole’ dick and the water should’ve been dyed white. And I thought Evian was supposed to be one of the classiest bottled waters out there. I think not now!

Pic: Evian

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