Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 17, 2020 / Posted by:

Utah’s SL,UT condom!

January 17, 2020 was the day that I learned that one of the abbreviations for Salt Lake City, Utah, can be SL,UT! I need to slap myself in the skull with a cold, soft dick for not realizing that sooner (actually, I want to slap myself in the skull with a cold, soft dick anyway since I’ll take it any way I can get it, even flaccid and Snow Miser-y). But just when I was about to pack everything up and move to Salt Lake City, Utah just so I could live in SL, UT, I learned that the slut-hating Governor of Utah put an end to the Department of Health passing out SL, UT condoms!

The Salt Lake City Tribune says that to make STD-blocking dick gloves more fun and not so serious, they put jokey sayings on the wrappers like: Explore Utah’s Caves, Enjoy Your Mountin’, UINTAH sex?, Toss the Jello Salad, This Is The Place, and today’s HSOTD SL,UT.

The Dept. of Health put out 44,000 of their condoms before Utah’s governor, Gary Herbert (R), put an end to the safe-sex fun and demanded that the campaign be stopped and all of the remaining condoms out there be confiscated. As all the STDs in Utah did a conga line and declared victory over getting to spread themselves even more, the governor’s office farted this up:

“The Governor understands the importance of the Utah Department of Health conducting a campaign to educate Utahns about HIV prevention. He does not, however, approve the use of sexual innuendo as part of a taxpayer-funded campaign, and our office has asked the department to rework the campaign’s branding.”

The Utah Department of Health later apologized, claiming that the design didn’t go through the proper channels, and call them “lewd.” But Ahmer Afroz, the director of the Utah AIDS Foundation (one of the partners who got the condoms) disagreed and said that they’re fun, approachable, and that many people of Utah were jizzing about them on social media. Ahmer also said that the campaign isn’t targeted at everyone (read: not targeted at prudes).

As for what the Department of Health is going to do with those condoms, who knows. But if they need somewhere to dump those SL,UT rubbers, my front door is the place. Sure, usually you need to be engaged in fuck times to use condoms, but you know, I have always wanted to pay tribute to Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes by wearing a condom on my eye and now is the perfect time. Just call me Michael SL,UT Eye K.

Pic: Utah Department of Health

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