Hot Slut Of The Day!
Max, the anti-coyote warrior pussy!
The sequel to Netflix’s Don’t Fuck With Cats is finally here, but unlike the first one, this one has a happy ending for pussykind, and won’t make you want to rip out your eyeballs directly from their sockets and dip them in industrial-strength bleach before pouring a mixture of OxiClean and ammonia into your ear holes to gargle your brains with. Don’t Fuck With Cats 2 stars Max, a cat from Los Angeles who is the reincarnation of The Bride from Kill Bill and isn’t about to let some tricks take him out like that
Maya Gurrin tells CBS Los Angeles that last Wednesday night, she and her husband were watching a movie at their home in the Highland Park neighborhood of Los Angeles when she noticed a shadow of doom outside. So she and her husband went to check to make sure a gang of ghosts weren’t trying to break in, but they found something more terrifying: a gang of coyotes trying to eat their pussy! They were able to easily shoo the coyotes away.
Maya then checked the footage from her house’s security camera, and found her cat Max proving that he’s the Bruce Lee of Highland Park. Max was not about to let a trio of coyotes get a gut-full o’ puss!
Maya says that even though Max can obviously take on every one of Wile E. Coyote’s Angeleno relatives, his days of going outside are done until they build him some kind of enclosure. Maya is also not really surprised that Max put up a fight since he knows karate AND ka-razy:
“I couldn’t believe it,” Gurrin said. “We’re still shocked. It was two days ago, and we are still shocked.”
And while she is still shocked, Gurrin admits she’s not really surprised.
“He’s always been crazy. Like, if this were to happen with any cat, it would be him,” she said.
Honestly, this is another example of gentrification. Those coyotes were there before everybody and now they’re getting chased out by a damn cat who is probably peering at them through the glass and miming like he’s being held back while going, “Hold me back, bro, hold me back!”
Pic: CBS Los Angeles