In the wake of yesterday’s Sandringham summit, The Firm is hard at work making a bomb ass playlist. Just today, they’ve added Bad Blood by Taylor Swift, Hurt by Johnny Cash feat. NIN, and Toxic by Britney Spears to their Sussexodus playlist on Spotify. Prince Philip probably blasts it in his car every morning as he drives around in circles in the paddock of Buckingham Palace, window down, the wind blowing in his hair (singular, ear), tears streaming down his face as his family (likely his bones too) crumbles to dust before his very eyes. This Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry mess has got The Royal Family all up in their feelings!
According to a People Magazine cover story, it’s not just the senior royals who are in anguish, Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry are hurting too (Siri, add Everybody Hurts by REM to Sussexodus playlist). People says Meghan and Harry’s sudden move to ensure they’d never have to watch The Queen spit on her napkin and wipe consomme off Prince Andrew’s chin at the dinner table ever again, was made quickly and without notice because their “hand was forced” due to strained family relations. Siri, add No Shit by Iggy Pop.
According to People:
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex released a statement on Wednesday announcing their intent to “carve out a progressive new role within this institution” — however, the public announcement came with little formal warning and left senior royals “hurt,” something that was “so avoidable,” a royal source says.
But in this week’s cover story, a family friend tells PEOPLE that the couple felt they had no choice but to manage things the way they did, even as they went against the family’s “never complain, never explain” mantra.
“This is not how they wanted to handle this, but Meghan and Harry’s hand was forced,” says the friend. “There is so much bad blood in that family — it’s toxic.”
The friend adds, “If relationships had been better, things would have been different.”
I’m not surprised Meghan’s in Canada with baby Archie auditioning for a role in the remake of Not Without My Daughter. It was originally reported that Meghan would call in to the Sandringham summit, but apparently, everybody but Harry got a message saying “Meghan has left the chat.”
So we’ve now had some clarification from the palace. They said: “In the end, The Sussexes decided that it wasn’t necessary for The Duchess to join [the summit].” But we understand Harry was in contact with his wife while at Sandringham, to keep her in the loop.
— Emily Andrews (@byEmilyAndrews) January 14, 2020
Meanwhile, according to CNN, Canada is trying to decide it they can afford the excesses of the Susexxes and are trying to figure out who’s going to pay for their security detail. Siri, add Security by Etta James, and throw Bills, Bills, Bills by Destiny’s Child in there too.
Discussions are ongoing in Canada over who will pay the costs of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s security for their proposed new life in the country, according to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.
Trudeau told a Canadian television station Monday that: “…there are still a lot of decisions to be taken by the royal family, by the Sussexes themselves, as to what level of engagement they choose to have and these are things that we are obviously supportive of their reflections, but have responsibilities in that as well.”
“We are not entirely sure what the final decisions will be, what the dispositions are and those are the decisions for them. I think most Canadians are very supportive of having royals here, but how that looks and what kind of cost is involved, there are still lots of discussions to be had,” he said.
So Canada’s basically saying, they’re cute and all, but we’re not about to have them eating up our weekly Tim Horton budget. Siri, last one, add Luxury Tax by Rick Ross.