Who Is Our Hot Slut Of 2019? Vote In Round One!
Ben Franklin, the thieving therapy dog who also stole hearts all over the internet, won the final Hot Slut of the Month spot of 2019 with almost 49% of your votes. So now we can move on to deciding who will inherit the Hot Slut of the Year crown from Judge Rosemarie Aquilina. The HSOTY battle royale is broken down into four rounds: the first three rounds are made up of four HSOTMs going at it, and the winner of each of those rounds will go on to the final round where you’ll vote on who will get to have “Hot Slut of 2019″ engraved on their tombstone.
For round one, we’re going all the way back to the winter and spring months of 2019. That wasn’t that long ago, but in 2019 years, it’s approximately 25 years ago. It was a long year. To Peloton your memory (we don’t jog anymore), here are the HSOTMs for January, February, March, and April:
January – Towel Cat, the cat who left Marie Kondo shaking by fucking with neatly folded towels and not giving one damn while doing so.
February – Billy Porter’s Oscars Tuxedo Gown, the Victor/Victoria on steroids extravaganza that fashion icon Billy Porter graciously slathered eyeballs with at the 2019 Oscars.
March – Robert Smith, who won March’s HSOTM for being Robert Smith, and by that I mean being a glorious goth cloud of gloominess during an interview with Brittany Taylor’s even perkier cousin at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony.
April – The Utah Jazz Dandelion, the Utah Jazz (that’s a basketball team, and not a music or dance group, sadly) fan who blinded the people behind her and in front of her with her exploding bomb of beauty that was so high it tickled the feet of the angels.
Voting will end on Friday, January 10, and then we’ll get into round two. Vote like it’s the last thing you’ll ever vote for (which isn’t true since you have to vote again on Friday)!
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