The 2020 Golden Globes Brought Some Questionable Fashion And Haircut Choices To The Red Carpet

January 6, 2020 / Posted by:

Like every Hollywood event, the 2020 Golden Globes offered for us peasants a plethora of fashion delights and disasters to witness and froth over. Outfits ranged from: Classic Elegance to Fancy Prostitute. Who won and lost the night is debatable but one thing is for sure: 97% of these clothes are being returned to whatever designer loaned it to the celebrity for a night. You think rich folk keep or pay for award gowns and jewels? LOL! No.

Jennifer Aniston decided to take it easy this year even though she was nominated for best actress thanks to The Morning Show. She wore a long black boring gown and let her hair air-dry because I guess with Jason Momoa being there, you know there’s now way you’ll have the best hair in the room:

She still had better hair than Ellen Degeneres who decided to shave her head in what can only be called “Neo-Nazi boy-chic”. At least Portia de Rossi got some high-class power lesbian short-hair blowout going on to counteract it:

I mean, look at the back:

Oof. Meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow showed up wearing some douche-water-brown sheer Fendi gown which People calls “caramel”.

After the show, Gwyn tried being relatable™ by posting about how she loves going home after an event. Your home with a $400 knife set and vampire repellent? How very similar to other people you are:

Kerry Washington decided to dress up looking like an Haute-Femme twink attending a formal gala being held during the Folsom Street Fair:

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Nick Jonas wore a suit which was beyond ill-fitted to the point of absurdity with a bolo-tie which I can only assume is supposed to mean he has a big dick? I thought that until I saw it, boo. And Priyanka Chopra-Jonas wore a basic pink dress which was like: okay, whatever:

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Rami Malik showed up with Lucy Boynton who looked like a teen from Euphoria:

And Miss Glenn Close really stole that show wearing a suit made from what was left of the velour from Normani‘s VMA performance:

Oh Glenn, this better be your 2020 awards season THEME. I want to see a full head-to-toe GOWN of velvet/velour at the Oscars–Don’t disappoint me.

Here’s more celebs at the 2020 Golden Globes Red Carpet:


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