Lindsay Lohan Is Returning To America To Take Back The Life She “Worked So Hard For”

January 2, 2020 / Posted by:

All those friends of Lindsay Lohan‘s who wanted her to move back to the States about a year-ish ago are finally getting their wish. Well I mean, if they decided to stick around, that’s a long time to wait for a hot-disaster like her to sweep back into town. Like how in It: Chapter 2 when you’re away from the town you forget about the clown eating people? Well, she’s back and those nightmares are about to flood back too. During their New Year’s Eve special for CNN, she told Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen that 2020 will have her coming back to the US of A.

Australia is getting a reprieve as La Lohan is coming back to America. People says that Lindsay announced her New Year’s plans and resolutions to Andy and Anderson from Muscat, Oman. Yes Lindsay is very cultured, she spent New Years in Muscat. Australia was not the only residence where Lindsay was just soaking up the culture–she also was in the UAE. Allegedly she also developed a “platonic” friendship with Crown Prince of Saudia Arabia, Mohammad Bin Salman. Hopefully that has nothing to do with why she’s heading back to America because if she fucked things up with him, I would worry…

Lindsay said she’s going to be filming something again and will channel her best Dina Lohan by managing her little sister Ali Lohan. But managing her… what….exactly?

“Yes, I do. I’m managing my sister, so I want to really focus on me and everything that I can do in my life and come back to America and start filming again, which I’m doing something soon in this new year. And, you know, just taking back the life I’ve worked so hard for and sharing it with my family and you guys.”

Worked so hard at tanking. Which you are brilliant at. Remember how you said American women don’t care about you? Remember how you defended Harvey Weinstein? Remember how you said #MeToo women are “weak”? You had a lot of plates spinning here in America, Lindsay. Buckle up. And people of America: Hide ya kids!

Here’s Lindsay, enjoy her awkwardly talking over Anderson at the end:

Pic: Twitter

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