Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 1, 2020 / Posted by:

Agnes Collins!

On January 1, 2016, Dame Joan Collins was finally made a Hot Slut of the Day, and yes, it was an honor that was 14 years late, but two years later, she got what many called her comeback role (although, it’s impossible to be a comeback when you’ve been ruling the game the entire time) in American Horror Story. Coincidence? Yes, completely and the two have nothing to do with each other and not sure why I brought it up. But what I am trying to say here is that another Collins is about to have a huge year and that Collins is Agnes Collins!

A few days ago, Dame Joan Collins unveiled the stunningly glamorous Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster to her stunningly glamorous Dr. Frankenstein. Dame Joan introduced us to “Agnes The Sulky Teenager,” a no waist-having teenage beauty made from a deer onesie, a Shirley Temple wig, sunglasses, Yeezys (WHY, DAME JOAN, WHY?) and a mask of a goth chola goddess who mixed a little too much baby powder in her foundation to get that white face look. I know this is supposed to be a teenager, but Agnes Collins looks more like an adult Michael Jackson with a perm as a North Pole Unabomber.

You’d think that Agnes Collins would be in a highly prestigious museum after all the highly prestigious museums of the world got into a vicious bidding war for her, but as of two days ago, she was still lounging on Dame Joan’s loveseat in all her no neck and waist glory. And she lounged with Dame Joan as Dame Joan casually watched television in a very casual television-watching ensemble:

Agnes Collins is truly the only Instagram Influencer I care about and has already proved that she’s got a trillion times more charisma, personality, and talent than most of the influencers out there. And 2020 will be the year of Agnes Collins!!!! (Cut to Dame Joan’s housekeepers murdering Agnes Collins by taking her apart to throw her into the wash.)

Pic: Instagram

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