Channing Tatum Is Now On The Dating App Raya

December 27, 2019 / Posted by:

Congratulations to those of you hoping to snag a piece of newly-single 39-year-old Channing Tatum, he’s on the dating app tip! Bad news, though. He’s on Raya, that Ben Affleck had such a good time on. Apparently it’s very exclusive, so unless you’re one of the chosen ones, you probably will never get to send him a message saying: “Wreck my guts.” I know–I’m sad too. But that also means you aren’t paying $7.99USD each month to get ghosted by famous people.

Channing and his wife Jenna Dewan broke up after nine years of marriage and after that he started dating her doppelgänger, Jessie J. Channing, I guess, got tired of listening to Jessie’s constant vocal trills and shout-screams inside the house, and they also broke up after one year together.

We heard about their break up a little over a week ago, but apparently they broke up a month before that, according to sources. So it took Channing a month to get over Jessie because, Us Weekly says that Channing was spotted on Raya. Get back on that wagon! Well the background checks of Raya are obviously not up to snuff, because they have at least one user who’s picked up their phone and spilled the secrets letting Us Weekly know the tea about Channing’s bio.

While they don’t give screenshots they describe the contents of Channing’s bio. What would a famous, panty-dropping celebrity need to say in their dating profile bio beyond: “I am Channing Tatum”? Apparently actual words. Channing’s profile reads:

“And yes, I used to be a stripper. Sorry.”

And includes the shrug emoji. And his “profile song” (Raya sounds like an early Angelfire website) is “Brown Sugar” by D’Angelo. Don’t worry you won’t have to type it into YouTube yourself:

So there you go, Channing sounds like a catch. I mean: he’s hot, he’s a rich actor, he has a sexual R&B song in his profile so you know he lays pipe or at least puts in effort. The only thing missing from it, though, is the sort of ugly custody fight with Jenna over their daughter Everly. Just one more line needed:

“And yes, I used to be a stripper. Sorry. And yes, there’s some baby mother drama to deal with. Sorry.”


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