Open Post: Hosted By The 7-Inch “Butthole Scratcher” That Got Stuck Up A Man’s Ass
The truth is, who among us hasn’t “accidentally” gotten the bottle we use as a culo scratcher stuck up our asshole? But unlike the man who ended up with a butt full of bottle, I would never go to the hospital to get help. How embarrassing! I wouldn’t want anybody to find out that I got a 7-incher stuck in my ass. I mean, it would totally turn my Grindr username GrandCanyonCulo into a lie. And honestly, it’s impossible for a 7-incher to get stuck up in there for a long period of time because after a bit, Jimmy Hoffa would grab it and throw it out of my ass while screaming, “Michael, stop fucking around, D.B. Cooper and I are trying to play rummy!”
But a man in China went to the hospital with a 7-inch bottle stuck up his ass, and probably gave everyone there a serious case of the GURL PLEASEs by telling them that he accidentally turned his b-hole into a recycling center while using the bottle to scratch his ass.
The Sun says that a man who has only been identified as “Mr. Wen” went to Dongguan Hospital in southern China’s Guangdong Province on November 1 and complained that he had trouble walking because he had a 2-inch wide skinny bottle stuck up his ass. Newbie!
When doctors discovered that Mr. Wen’s ass ate up a bottle of mosquito repellent, he rebooted the usual “I slipped and fell on it while naked” excuse and said that he was using the bottle to scratch an itch on his butt and the bottle slipped into his ass “all of a sudden.” For real, though, I believe him. I once used another dude’s dick to scratch an itch (for peen) on my prostate and my asshole ate the whole thing up! But then again, it eats up anything in its path, which explains why my doctor is missing one finger. The dangers of a prostate exam.
After doctors determined that Mr. Wen had a bottle stuck in his ass by doing an x-ray (see: left pic), they took him to surgery and removed the bottle (see: right pic).
It turned out that the bottle had been used to hold liquid used as a traditional Chinese mosquito repellent and itch soother.
Mr Wen was discharged from hospital just hours after his operation on the same day.
But did his butt itch get cured? That’s what I want to know.
Let this be a lesson. The next time your ass itches, use a dildo to scratch it like a normal person. Unless…. your kink is getting a bottle surgically removed from your asshole, then bottles up (that ass)!
Pics: Dongguan Hospital