Sorry, Duchess Meghan And Prince Hot Ginge, But Only FMs (Future Monarchs) Will Make An Appearance During THE QUEEN’s Speech 

December 24, 2019 / Posted by:

It was reported that THE QUEEN had a fucking time writing her annual Christmas Day speech, and not only just because she had one too many breakfast gins and Prince Philip kept saying to her, “Pull my finger, love!”, as his day nurse stood by with a clean pair of bloomers because the nurse knows that “pull my finger” usually leads to some sticky toffee pudding in the prince’s chonies royale. But THE QUEEN apparently had some issues with her annual speech because of three little things called “her grandsons scrappin‘,” “her ginger grandson and granddaughter-in-law BRINGING DOWN THE MONARCHY with their rebel ways,” and “everyone finding out that her youngest son is probably perv trash and is really bad at lying.” I mean, isn’t the royal family supposed to be masters at lie-telling and fooling the public? And Prince Andrew is embarrassing his family by being bad at it. For shame!

The Queen’s Speech (2019) doesn’t hit screens until Christmas Day, but because everything needs a trailer nowadays, the Palace has put out a teaser including a piece of what she says and a shot of her sitting next to frames that don’t have pictures of Prince Hot Ginge or Duchess Meghan in them. So is this THE QUEEN’s shady way of letting us know that those two ain’t shit to her since they’re eating moose poutine in Canada for Christmas instead of spending it with her? Or is there another totally different reason for why she didn’t include them. SPOILER ALERT: It’s the second one.

THE QUEEN pre-recorded her speech (because you don’t expect her ass to work on Christmas, do you?) in the Green Drawing Room at Windsor Castle and sat at a desk with pictures of some of her family members on it. But before we get to that, that Christmas tree is in serious need of more lights. Are the royals going broke!?

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Merry Christmas! This year The Queen's Speech was filmed in the Green Drawing Room at Windsor Castle. It will be broadcast on Christmas Day at 3pm GMT. This year also marked the 75th Anniversary of D-Day and in The Queen's Christmas Speech Her Majesty will reflect on the commemorations. "For the Seventy-Fifth Anniversary of that decisive battle, in a true spirit of reconciliation, those who had formerly been sworn enemies came together in friendly commemorations either side of the Channel, putting past differences behind them. . "By being willing to put past differences behind us and move forward together, we honour the freedom and democracy once won for us at so great a cost.” Watch The Queen's Christmas broadcast on TV, radio and online here tomorrow at 3pm GMT.

A post shared by The Royal Family (@theroyalfamily) on

PHG, Meghan, and Master Archie aren’t on THE QUEEN’s desk, but neither are Princess Anne, Prince Andrew, Prince Edward, and her other grandchildren. THE QUEEN only included pictures of her man, her father King George VI, Prince Charles with Duchess Camilla, and Prince William with his family. Apparently, THE QUEEN wasn’t trying to be shady and only included direct heirs to the throne (Prince Charles, Prince William, and Prince George), and their families. But honestly, I’m surprised that someone on THE QUEEN’s PR team didn’t suggest her including a picture of PHG and his family, only with his face and Meghan’s face cut out so everyone can be talking about that instead of the shitty son whose name rhymes with Mince ManGoo.

As for Prince Andrew, and PHG and Meghan’s messiness with the tabloids, THE QUEEN slightly addresses that in an excerpt that Buckingham Palace released. via People

Speaking about the life of Jesus and the importance of reconciliation, she said, “how many small steps taken in faith and in hope can overcome long-held differences and deep-seated divisions to bring harmony and understanding.

“The path, of course, is not always smooth, and may at times this year have felt quite bumpy,” she noted, “but small steps can make a world of difference.”

I’m not sure I’d used the words “quite bumpy” to describe my son being accused of spending time with an underage sex trafficking victim who was forced to have sex with him by a convicted pedophile. I’d probably say something like, “The path, of course, is not always smooth, and this year the path was jagged and rocky, causing our tire to pop which made our car lose control and careen down a cliff crashing straight into a Pizza Express before bursting into flames. You know, as if my husband drove!” But maybe she’ll say that in the full speech.

Pic: Getty

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