Open Post: Hosted By Liam Payne Claiming He’s The Most Well-Endowed Member Of One Direction

When choosing what I’m going to write about on this lovely pre-Christmas weekend, one of the items presented to me read “Liam Payne says he has the biggest dick in One Direction.” Because I read too fast or I’m still feeling the effects of the three bottles of Prosecco I drank at a Christmas party last night, I read that as “Liam Payne says he’s the biggest dick in One Direction.” And I was momentarily taken aback by what I perceived as Liam’s refreshing honesty. Because, as he’s evidenced in the past, that’s a true statement! Alas, no, according to Digital Spy, he was really on Watch What Happens Live! and told Andy Cohen that he HAS the biggest dick in One Direction. I’ll be the judge of that, Liam! (Can I be the judge of that, Liam?)

Here’s that clip:

Liam’s self-serving cock-signaling was almost eclipsed by Lea Michele in that dress trying too hard to be Lea Michele in that dress. In other life of Liam revelations, he pled the fifth when asked if he had dated Naomi Campbell (first rule of dating Naomi Campbell is you don’t talk about dating Naomi Campbell unless you want to be removing a jewel-encrusted smartphone from your anal passage), and revealed that he saw his fellow One Directioner Harry Styles for the first time in three years at the Capital FM Jingle Bell Ball earlier this month.

Speaking about what they discussed Liam revealed: “We spoke about a number of things.

“It was good to see him, he’s the same boy I had left him, we spoke about the kids and happiness and all sorts of things.”

That sounds like a nice reunion, Liam. But, now that you’ve planted the idea that you were practically tucking it into your sneaker in all of those One Direction photoshoots because you’re packing so much, we’re going to need to hear from all of the concerned parties as to the truth. And speaking of photoshoots – we’ll need photographic evidence. Thank you.

Pic: YouTube