Jason Derulo Was Surprised To See That His “Cats” Character Didn’t Have A Penis
I didn’t think it was possible for anybody to be more obsessed with the feline genitalia of the Cats movie than I am, but Jason Derulo has just proved me wrong. We already knew that Jason is a huge fan of his own dick in its human form when he thirstily drew attention to it on Instagram. He was wet, it was fluffed, he called it his anaconda, and it was all very unnecessary. But then Instagram removed it for violating their terms of service, prompting Jason to loudly complain stating “I can’t help my size.” Apparently, that statement goes double for Jason’s appearance in Cats. According to Digital Spy, Jason was shocked to learn that his dick had been digitally removed from the finished product. I wonder what the fuck kind of movie he thought he had signed up for.
Jason was a guest on Andy Cohen’s Sirius Radio show and got to talking about his dick, which is apparently all he ever wants to talk about these days.
The singer and soon-to-be movie star, who plays Rum Tug Tugger in the adaptation, was recently asked by US talk show host Andy Cohen about the whereabouts of his appendage in the movie, since wearing tights for the role should have made it impossible to ignore.
However, without even a hint of a bulge on his character, Derulo claimed it must have been edited out with digital wizardry.
Laughing, he said: “Yeah, they did CGI [it out]. I noticed that.”
He went on to say that he was “125% sure” about the use of airbrushing on his shlong, and that it had been done “to make it as cat-like as possible. I think that’s what it was about, you know?”
Later he said he was only 120% sure, which at least is in keeping with the overall confusion regarding the math, scale, and purpose of the Cats movie. Adding to the confusion, Jason at one point in the clip stated “we were all naked” during the filming, which, if true, is absolutely incredible. If they don’t release a “making of” documentary for this movie I’m going to sue. I don’t know who yet, but I’ll figure it out. Here’s the clip.
I still don’t understand what Jason thought was going to happen. Since he wore a bodysuit, the most exposure he would have had would be a dick print, hopefully unfluffed for HR’s sake. Now, he must have known they would add fur (or maybe not! I feel like the cast has been as surprised and confused by Cats as the general public has been). So, did he think they would just add fur to the bulge? Cats’ dicks aren’t furry, they’re barbed. Nor do they lay to one side or the other. They are tucked up inside a little flesh pocket. This is why talking cats should wear pants at all times! And don’t get me started on the breasts question. Denuded humanoid cats are a slippery slope, and I feel like we are about to witness a landslide of furry pubic mounds the likes of which the world has never before seen.