Marvel’s First Openly Gay Superhero Won’t Be Played By Richard Madden

December 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Marvel’s The Eternals is coming, and with it a representational cast of thousands including heroes gender-swapped from the comics, a rainbow of ethnicities, the MCU’s first deaf hero, and finally, some hot spandexed man-on-spandexed man action. The rumor was that the first openly queer hero in Marvel Cinematic Universe history would be Ikaris, played by the Scottish, square-jawed and possibly bisexual himself Richard Madden. Not so fast! MCU Cosmic says it’s a different character and actor. And the character will already have a partner and kids! WHAT KIND OF HETERONORMATIVE BULLSHIT IS THIS? Fun fact: “heteronormative bullshit” is gay guy speak for the fear that there won’t be any full-frontal or anal scenes between Sean Cody-looking dudes in the content in question.

Footage from The Eternals was shown at CCXP 2019 and, according to one viewer, the gay character is named Phastos and he’s played by Atlanta and Joker actor Brian Tyree Henry.

“We see Phastos, with civil costumes, in the company of two childrens and another guy, holding hands.”

It appears that Richard Madden’s character Ikaris will be in a love triangle with Gemma Chan’s Sersi character and Jon Snow aka Kit Harrington, who is playing Dane Whitman aka The Black Knight. The Eternals are immortal super-beings so they’re probably past any sexual hangups so maybe everyone is bisexual and Richard and Kit will realize Sersi’s a bore and get to tongue-lashing each other as if an MCU movie won’t be the most chaste thing going…

Look, Mr. Henry is a cute, bearish-looking type and I’m down with that but already with a dude and two “childrens?” What kind of superhero fantasy is that? If you’re gonna do a gay superhero, you give him a giant spandex codpiece and a secret identity as the hottest fitness trainer at the gym with no romantic attachments whatsoever beyond whatever sex toy he’s using on his latest conquest – be it a beefy daddy, slutty twink, or Chris Evans hopefully making a guest appearance in The Eternals in his signature role as a newly-out Captain America’s Ass. These are superheroes! Everyone’s in it for the sex! And now I know that after my firing from Dlisted for this ridiculous, horny rant, I’ll have a much less-than-lucrative career in dirty MCU fan-fic.


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