Hot Slut Of The Day!
Agree Shampoo!
In my never-ending internet travels to find treasures from the past for HSOTD, I’ve come across pictures of Agree shampoo many times. And every time my eyeballs grace a picture of Agree shampoo, my drunk bitch switch flips on and I think they’re bottles of whiskey and absinthe. (Mental note to myself: troll eBay for old bottles of Agree so I can mix ’em with soda and a splash of Campari topped with an orange peel twist.) But although you could probably get fucked up on Agree shampoo (it did come from the 80s, so it might’ve been infused with beautiful mind-altering chemicals), it was not for drinking. It was for transforming your mane from a greasy used dish rag to Belinda Carlisle lusciousness.
Agree was a line of shampoos that came out in the early 80s, and it promised to get rid of the greasies. So basically, Agree was nightmare in a bottle to every T-Bird in the land. As for what it smelled like, I couldn’t find a specific description. Judging by its green-ness, it looks like it smelled like Palmolive to me, but others on the internet only say it smelled “fresh.” That doesn’t help, internet! “Fresh” has a different meaning to different people. To some (the Kardashians) “fresh” is the scent of virgin blood from a Satanic sacrifice on a $100 bill. To others (Kool & The Gang) “fresh” is the scent of a Miss Frisky Lady.
The commercials for Agree went full (non-greasy) 80s cheesiness:
In this one, Michelle Pfeiffer’s Saturday matinee understudy answers the door with her hair looking perfectly fine, and her date, who honestly shouldn’t check anybody’s hair game with that helmet head, asks her why she hasn’t washed her hair. What a bitch he is! So she goes to a salon, that is obviously the finest salon in town since they use Agree shampoo, and takes care of the greasies as a stunning-faced salt and pepper fox makes me greasy in the loins with his beauty and gaze. Not Michelle Pfeiffer should’ve dumped that dick of a boyfriend and been the beard of the salt and pepper fox, but she doesn’t. I bet her boyfriend later became her husband and he bought her a Peloton for Christmas.
My Belinda Carlisle mention at the top wasn’t a joke. Belinda was the face of Agree shampoo, and here’s one of her radio commercials and a couple of her ads:
Agree shampoo made a tiny comeback, and you can still get it online. But honestly, the shampoo market is so crowded now that Agree shouldn’t have come back as a shampoo for your hair. Since it promises to get rid of the grease, they should market it as a b-hole cleanser that’ll clean off the silicone lube after butt sex. And while they’re at it, bring back that stunning-faced salt and pepper fox to hawk it.
Pic: Flickr