Josh Brolin Claims He Ended Up With A Chicharrón Anus After Sunbathing His Butthole

December 3, 2019 / Posted by:

On a past episode of Dlisted: The Podcast, Allison and I wrapped our brains around sundried butt blossoms while talking about butthole sunbathing, the ancient Taoist practice where you supposedly get a big shot of Vitamin D by presenting your hole to the sun for 30 seconds. While I am a thorough believer in lifting your hole up in the air for some hot D, Allison and I both said that we think butthole sunbathing is a fried turd out of a sunburnt asshole. But others are willing to risk their bare asshole getting stung by a bee in the name of wellness. One of those others was Josh Brolin who claimed that he got bareback butt fucked by the sun’s rays and now his b-hole is playing Dolly Parton’s Baby, I’m Burning. Strangely enough, that’s the #1 played song on my b-hole too (my BrownSpotify list), but for totally different reasons.

In case you don’t know what perineum sunning is, Metaphysical Meagan, a healer whose ass tunnel has been hit by the light of the sun many times, explains it like this:

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☀️Perineum Sunning PART 2☀️ 🍑I was recently interviewed for an article on this, so I thought I’d share more: Perineum sunning is an ancient Taoist practice that originated in the Far East. In Taoism, the perenium or Hui Yin is called the “Gate of Life and Death.” This is a gateway where energy enters & exits the body. I first learned about perineum sunning through my studies of Taoism and Tantric practices. Mantak Chia speaks about this in his work, as does my friend @ra_of_earth . 🍑The benefits of perineum sunning include: 🌞 •It brings in prana or solar energy from the sun into the organs within the body which strengthens the organs. 🌞 •Perineum sunning prevents against the leakage of chi or life force energy from the body. This in turn sustains health & longevity of the physical body. •Increases creativity and creative output. •Aids in a healthy libido & balanced sexual energy. •30 seconds of sunlight on the perineum is equivalent to being in the sun all day with your clothes on. •It regulates the circadian rhythm and promotes deeper sleep. •Grounds and connects you to the Earth. •Increases your personal magnetism and amplifies the auric field. •Better focus & mental stimulation. •Regulates hormone function in the sex organs. ⚡️ 🍑My experience with perineum sunning has been profound. I have been practicing this for a few months now. I start my day with 5 minutes of perineum sunning & feel energized for hours. I no longer rely on coffee for energy to start my day because I am getting my energy from the sun. I also am experiencing better sleep and require less sleep due to boost of overall energy. • 🍑I would highly recommend this to anyone who is seeking optimal health & wellness and to those looking to connect with their sexual energy in a balanced way. • 🍑The main advice I have that this practice is meant to be done in the time of 30 seconds to 5 minutes MAX in the sun. 🌞 •‼️‼️THE INTENTION OF THIS IS NOT TO TAN YOUR BUTTHOLE‼️‼️ • 🌞 Sunscreen is not required & all you really need is 30 seconds of sun exposure. The ideal hours of the day to do this are between 7-9 am. #ButtholeSunning #SexualHealing #TaoistPractices

A post shared by 𓂀 𓋹 Metaphysical Meagan 𓋹 𓂀 (@metaphysicalmeagan) on

Josh wrote on Instagram last week that he spread his cheeks in the wild to sunbathe his ham flower and it led to him feeling like Heat Mister just finger fucked him in the ass (or he just got a rim job from Ghost Rider). So basically, the flaming asshole’s got a flaming asshole now.

Josh has been known to flirt with melanoma of the nalgas by getting asshole-out naked under the sun, but I’m still side-eyeing his allegedly charbroiled brown eye. Either Josh totally ignored the 30-second rule or he’s telling burnt hole lies for jokes. I would say that I need to see proof in the form of a broiled Brolin butthole pic, but I love barbecued pork rind cracklins way too much to be forced to give them up.

Pic: Instagram

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