Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Power Bottom Elf Balloon of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!
The internet is filled with headlines like “Elf On The Shelf Balloon At Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade” and “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade’s Elf on the Shelf Balloon Has Social Media Terrified“, and honestly, those headlines are highly homophobic! Because the Elf On The Shelf is just presenting his hole while trying to get some dick. Nothing terrifying about presenting your hole for some dick (“I still have terrifying nightmares about seeing yours” said every Grindr trick I’ve sent a portrait of my presenting hole to.)
The Elf On The Shelf balloon made his debut at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2012, and has been assuming the butt fuck position every year ever since. He’s currently the oldest balloon in the parade. And during this year’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, he once again showed up and showed out while looking like an anonymous bottom who just posted a pump and dump ad on Craigslist Casual Encounters (RIP).
Here he is busting out the face down/ass up position for the masses:
Elf on the shelf nearly hitting trees, like a bunch of the balloons got knocked around. #MacysThanksgivingDayParade pic.twitter.com/ZXOZITm8p4
— 🎅KlassicManGrump🐺 (Art Commissions Open) (@GrumpsTheMovie) November 28, 2019
Whyyyy does this Elf look like he is about to take it up the a-
anyway, the Macy's parade is on y'all 🤭🤔😁😂🤣😂🤣😭 … 🤫 pic.twitter.com/qicTDJKNwk
— S I M ❤ N E🖌 (@SimmiSweet) November 28, 2019
It is sad that every single year, Elf On The Shelf, shows up to the Skanksgiving Day Parade in hopes that he’ll get stuffed, and he never does. I know how that bitch feels. And seriously, someone needs to make the Thanksgiving love connection of the century by introducing the Elf On The Shelf balloon to the legendary ass eater that is the Spider-Man balloon.
Happy Thanksgiving, America. pic.twitter.com/nRLAbkaBVI
— Rabih Alameddine (@rabihalameddine) November 28, 2019
Pic: Twitter