Pete Davidson Went Full-Ken Doll On The Cover Of Paper Magazine

November 21, 2019 / Posted by:

I’ll never believe a single thing Ariana Grande says ever again! No, Pete Davidson is just working with some smooth plastic prosthetics to give him a Ken doll crotch situation on the cover of this month’s issue of Paper magazine.

This isn’t the first time Paper has put a fake plastic naked body on the cover, but it might be the first time it’s been accompanied with a facial expression that reads: “They’re definitely going to roast me at work on Saturday night for this, right?” Here’s the full spread of Paper’s attempt to break the internet with a bleach blonde Pete Doll that is more like a Horny Rich Dirtbag Pete. He comes with several cool accessories, like a $7,000 smart fridge that contains a single old bottle of ketchup, a sheet of random stick-on tattoos, one Versace towel that he uses for everything, and a phone so he can text you, “Hey girl, u up?

I’m actually kind of close to the vibe they were going for. According to Paper’s Tommy Dorfman, Pete is a kind of Staten Island Ken.

I threw out a Ken Doll concept. It seemed right since tabloids manipulate people in that way, him especially. He was down with the idea, but challenged me to go darker, something that leaned into his struggle with depression, which he has been admirably public about. He’d told me he slept in a car bed as a kid and I saw it immediately: this Staten Island Ken Doll version of Pete stuck in a Barbie nightmare, pills everywhere.

He was also joined by his own Barbie, played by actress/model Julia Fox.

Pete also talked to Paper about his dating life. He’s currently being photographed holding hands with Kaia Gerber, and it seems like he’s constantly landing 10s. There’s a reason for that, and according to Pete, it’s because he treats his ladies really well.

“My love language, when I’m in a relationship, is I treat the person I’m with like a princess. I try and go as above and beyond as possible, because that’s what you’re supposed to do? If you’re in a relationship with someone, you’re just supposed to make that person feel as special as possible. But sometimes when you put so much on someone, it overwhelms them, and then they don’t know if they could come close to that.”

Who knew Pete was such a romantic? Now I can’t help but picture Pete showing up for a date and dramatically pulling a bouquet of drugs from behind his back, like “Shrooms for m’lady.” But Pete also gave us some less-romantic mental imagery, courtesy of a story about jerking off to a poster of Leonardo DiCaprio.

“Well, I used to jerk off to Leonardo DiCaprio…Uhh, like his acting…Yeah. I used to have a HUGE crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. I had this huge poster of him from The Beach in my room, and there used to be, like, “Leo love books”… Do you remember? Like, right when Titanic came out [when I was] in like third or fourth grade, he was just like, “teen milk.” There were love books and I had all of them. He was the coolest….I’ve met him twice and I’ve just shaken hands and run away fast, like, it’s too much [to process].”

Pete shouldn’t be too worried if he came across as awkward those two times he met Leonardo DiCaprio. Quickly running away fast after shaking his hand is probably Leo’s idea interaction with someone like Pete. The sooner he’s able to take his hand back and put it around the waist of a 22-year-old model, the better.

Pic: Tommy Dorfman/Paper

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