Marie Kondo Changed Her Mind And Now Wants You To Buy More Stuff From Her New Online Store
I’m sure everybody who rushed to organize their house after watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix back in January, has already gone back to living like a pig and replaced all the shit they thoughtfully donated to Goodwill with even more useless crap than they had before. Now, perhaps inevitably, Marie has cashed in on her celebrity with an online store selling useless crap to fill the KonMari method void she helped create. Sure it’s very expensive, minimalist design crap, but useless all the same. But at least now you have options! While Goop’s crystal infused water bottle sells for $80, Marie’s is $98 and features “interchangeable vials of fair-trade gemstones” made in the German Alps. And while she doesn’t offer a BDSM kit (yet), with a $75 tuning fork that’s paired with an oblong crystal (rose, clear, or smokey quartz), Marie will have you sparking joy out your ass.
Here’s a peek at what Marie’s selling, aesthetically and quite literally.
It’s weird because I’m feeling a real Drew/Yeezy vibe up in here. Did she film this at Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s pad? I guess if you want to live in a mustard and beige colored spa where you have to whisper at all times, then the shop at KonMari might be for you. I don’t know your life, but for me, the thought of a $68 dinner plate doesn’t spark joy, it sparks panic. That plate would remain bubble wrapped until the day Dolly Parton finally accepts my open dinner invitation. There is nobody else on this planet I’m getting the good plate out for.
According to the AP, one of the main criticisms about Marie’s method is that it’s not kid friendly. Well, now that she’s a mother, she’s got a solution for that. Despite telling us to burn all our books, Marie’s got a couple for sale on her site. One of them is a children’s book about Kiki, a “squirrel with a hoarding problem.” So Kiki not wanting to starve to death is a problem, but Kiki getting kicked out of her tree because she can’t afford rent after buying a $200 Japanese elm tea holder is ok? Kiki can’t live in there, it’s too small! #Justice4Kiki
Pic: Wenn.com