The Santa At Harrods Is Now Reserved For Kids Whose Parents Spend At Least $2566

November 12, 2019 / Posted by:

You could say that the standard expectations of Santa Claus are spelled out pretty explicitly in the lyrics of “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” He makes a list, he checks it twice to determine if you’re naughty or nice, watches you while you sleep, you get the picture. But when Santa stops at London’s iconic department store, his list-checking will also involve an in-store credit check to determine if you’re rich enough to sit on his lap. Because the Harrods Santa is not for the poors.

This Friday, Harrods – the five-acre 170-year-old department store – will open a Swarovski-sponsored Christmas Grotto where kids can line up to tell Santa what they’d like for Christmas, and get their picture taken. But CNBC reports that this year, kids are only eligible to participate if their mommy or daddy have achieved Green 2 Tier status.

The “Secret Forest Grotto,” that’s what they’re calling it, is appropriately named, because if you’re not already knee-deep in green paper, you’re officially poor enough to wonder what the inside looks like. Green 2 Tier status is a loyalty program that is achieved if you’ve spent £2,000, or $2,566 USD, between January 1st and August 26th.

If you’re lucky enough to qualify, you must then pay £20 (or $25) per child to get in. The Secret Forest Grotto is fully booked.

Oh, but don’t worry Oliver Twist, Charlie Bucket, and the rest of the London poors – you might be lucky enough to win one of 160 “low-income family” passes to the Grotto. After receiving many complaints about how the Secret Forest Grotto seemed elitist, Harrods decided to host 160 deserving families. However, 96% of the available timeslots will still reportedly go to the wealthy kids.

Harrods said in a statement that they decided to go with this system this year, due to the high demand of previous years.

This is made even more ironic when you realize that Harrods motto is Omnia Omnibus Ubique, Latin for “All things for all people, everywhere.” And really, this new Secret Forest Grotto isn’t for all people, just for Green 2 Tier kids and up. And that’s sad. Because if you’re going to go exclusive, then tell me where is the extra-special Christmas Grotto for the children of top-tier spenders? To reach Green 2, you only have to spend $2,566. That’s like one really expensive purse. A very wealthy child shouldn’t have to sit on the lap of a Santa that still has a Green 2’s trouser germs on it. Harrods would be wise to create an actual secret grotto, called the Limited-Access VIP Holiday Ravine. You slide down a hill covered in shredded £100 notes, and nibble 24k gold leaf-covered gingerbreads baked by a Gucci-covered Mrs. Claus.


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