THE QUEEN Is Now Fur-Free

November 7, 2019 / Posted by:

If Anna Wintour so much as looks at a wild fox in Central Park, PETA drags her ass and chucks fake blood at innocent Vogue staffers running out to get her mid-morning latte. The only animal PETA will allow Anna to torture is, well, innocent Vogue staffers. Little did I know, THE QUEEN has also been in their crosshairs.

PETA U.K. has passed out “Bear Hugs, Not Bear Hats” balloons at her 2010 birthday to get QE2 to use synthetic fur in her notoriously stone-faced troops famous black hats. Seven years later, they had a Russian company send prototypes of the hats to the queen to show there was a synthetic version of her Guard’s hats (“Did my time as an engineer in the War and having to sleep next to Philip every night not grant me a hall pass?” –THE QUEEN to her staffers). Alas, good news! British bears can sleep easy tonight – kinda. QE2’s royal dresser says she’s going fur-free.

People reports Queenie’s longtime dresser, Angela Kelly, says the monarch is going to be faux fur-ing and Old Navy Performance fleece-ing it up the next time she gets chilly:

“If Her Majesty is due to attend an engagement in particularly cold weather, from 2019 onwards fake fur will be used to make sure she stays warm.”

They’re taking this seriously! Or they’re just tired of doing the same shit like buy new beige bags for her and were looking for something to do. Some older outfits like a white coat she wore in 2008 with fur-trimmed cuffs are already getting redone with fake fur.

Now, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here. The Queen’s Guard is still rocking those bear fur hats, and anyone who has seen The Queen (me most Saturday nights) knows she spends her vacations shooting up a storm. Queen Lizzy & Co. are basically England’s version of Duck Dynasty but in tweed instead of camouflage. Also, Angela notes that some outfits in the 93-year-old’s closet will still have fur, like fur-trimmed ceremonial robes that date way back. “But it’s not like she was Henry VIII sending her spouse to get his head lobbed off! Cut the old crow some slack,” Angela defended. No, she didn’t.


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